JUDE
I’ve been loitering in the library, moving slowly as I go through my cleaning routine and trying to get another glimpse of Edison today. I haven’t seen her enough lately and my soul is starting to get twitchy because of it. I need to see her, to make sure she’s okay, to see her brown eyes looking at me with kindness.
She’s a small ray of light which showed me I was living in darkness. I wasn’t even aware of it. I thought I was happy and had everything going for me. In some ways, I did, but I had no idea what I was missing. Now I do.
When I round the corner to find her at the large circulation desk, she’s gathering some books and I feel like I can breathe a little easier. The soft smile she has on her face is normal, but I’ve looked into her eyes and seen a need there I know I can fill. If only she’d let me.
I know I’m not going about this the right way, but I don’t think she’s ready. She’s guarded and wary even as she smiles brightly. Scaring her away and ruining the chance I have with her isn’t an option. I would never be the same.
As I watch her, the sweater she’s wearing slides off one of her shoulders, showing off a black and gray rose she has tattooed there. It makes my mouth water at the thought of kissing her right there. It’s beautiful work and for a moment I wonder who the lucky bastard was who got to touch her and put their art on her.
My fists clench at the idea of anyone touching her, but I can’t deny how the finished work enhances Edison’s natural beauty.
My pace quickens slightly as I push the janitor’s cart in her direction. I need to be closer, to get a lungful of her soft wildflower scent that has an undertone of something spicy I can’t quite place. She calls to me.
When she turns, I take a moment to look her up and down. She’s small at 5’2”, but her ass always draws my gaze; all her soft curves do. I long for the day I can trail kisses up and down her spine before I shove my cock into her and take her hard and fast.
Fuck. Get it together.
“Hi Edison,” I try and keep my voice level, but even I can hear the husky need in it.
She whirls around and for a moment I’m afraid she’s going to topple over, especially considering she’s still holding a stack of books, but she rights herself quickly. “Oh,” she exclaims, “Jude, I didn’t know you were right there.”
“I’m sorry I startled you. I didn’t mean to.” I flash her a sheepish smile and almost get lost in her brown eyes.
“No worries,” her voice is light and breezy even though I can see how her pulse jumps at the base of her throat.
What I wouldn’t give to kiss her right there, to feel her blood pumping under my lips and to know I’m the one who is making her heart race. She’s so damn sexy as she looks at me, her eyes wide and full of innocence. She has no idea what she does to me.
Soon. She will soon.
Once I get my head out of my ass and close the deal.
I thought getting a job to be closer to her, even as a janitor, would be a good idea. Now I’m not so sure.
What if she doesn’t see me as anything more than my job? Would she look down on me before I get the chance to explain to her this job is just about getting close to her? Would she be horrified by the lengths I’ve gone to be near her?
I don’t think she’d judge me for my job, Edison is too damn sweet for that, but I doubt she’d be thrilled to know it’s all a ruse.
In the silence between us that I wish wasn’t awkward, I give her a charming smile. “How’s your day going?”
Her small smile grows on her lips, and I have to remind myself to breathe. She has no idea how gorgeous she is. I’ve seen the way some of the male students and professors look at her. They look at her like she’s a snack and they want to take a bite.
How I’ve stopped myself from beating someone’s ass, I’ll never know.
“I’m great.” She holds up the stack of books in her arms a little bit. “I’m just collecting some books to go and replace on the shelves.” She rolls her eyes. “You know how the students can get if they can’t find what they’re looking for right away.”
I almost growl at the implication they would treat her badly because they don’t have their needs immediately satisfied, but I swallow it down. I’ll have to keep a better eye on her when I’m cleaning.
I wish this was the only building I was tasked with. If I could stay here all day, it would be a lot easier to keep an eye on her, but I also clean three of the other academic buildings throughout the week. The days when I’m assigned the library and she’s off are the fucking worst.
When I don’t see her often enough, when I don’t know she’s safe, it’s like my skin is too damn tight for my body.
She’s so small, anything could happen to her out there in the world. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened and I wasn’t there to protect her. It’s one of the reasons I started to follow her home on the nights when I can. Sometimes I even watch over her apartment building, but I can’t do it every night, as much as I wish I could.
Living a dual life is exhausting.
“If they give you any shit, you just let me know and I’ll take care of them,” I can’t keep the growl out of my voice and her eyes widen in response.