CHAPTER1
JONAH TAYLOR
In my opinion, Thursday nights are the third worst evenings of the seven. It’s the last night Sirena dances in one of the cages at my nightclub, Loft. The second worst is Friday because I don’t get to see her. The worst of all are Saturday nights when I haven’t seen her for so long.
I hate that when the bar closes on Thursday night, she leaves to do whatever it is keeping her from here for three straight days. I hate that I have no idea what that whatever is. I hate that she’s not where I can see her and know she’s safe and cherished.
I know it’s Sirena’s right to have a life away from her job. I know being a burlesque dancer, perched in a chest-high cage and being stared at every night, isn’t the sum total of who she is. I also know she has no idea how much of my heart she takes with her every time one of the bartenders or security guys safely escorts her to her car.
I don’t have a clue how to turn not knowing these answers into information I have. When I opened Loft with my three best friends, we had a handful of goals. We dreamed of creating a safe place for people to enjoy well-made cocktails, great dance music, and the aesthetic experience of sensuous burlesque moves from the women dancing inside cages on platforms lofted in the air.
It just sort of worked out that Callum and the twins, Liam and Casyn, fell in love with dancers I hired as the employment and front-of-house manager. Ironically, Callum hired Sirena while I was out sick a few months ago. I can’t say I wouldn’t have hired her if she’d interviewed with me, but it definitely wouldn’t have been for the cage. The bar, maybe, where I’d be guaranteed less people would get to see her sexy ass dancing in a bustier and fishnets.
Being extraordinarily curvy isn’t a requirement for dancing in one of our lofts, but it’s gravitated toward that ever since our first plus-sized goddess ascended the ladder into one for our opening night. The twins’ wife, Marlyce, is the plushest dancer we’ve got, followed by Callum’s wife, Lumi. Sirena’s curvier than our fourth dancer, Jade, but all I can think when I see Sirena is how much curvier she’d be if I filled her with my baby. I’d keep her lush with excess while I spoiled and pampered her every single day with treats and adoration.
Lofty goal, pun intended, given that every single time I try to get to know her, she blows me off entirely. Oh, she’s not rude about it, not my sexy goddess. And when she thinks I’m not looking at her, I catch the longing glances she sends my way. But every single time I’ve try to convince her to hang around after her shift or to grab breakfast at the diner down the block, she’s refused completely.
I don’t let her rejections stop me from asking her out every Thursday night. Which is yet another reason to list Thursdays as the third worst night of the week. This week, like every other Thursday, I’m left standing at the club’s door, watching her taillights fade as she drives away from me.
“I know it’s hard to let her say no every week.” Lumi’s voice is soft and sweet as she loops her arm through mine. Callum’s soft growl behind us brings a dark chuckle out of me. Though he’s learning to use his busted up vocal chords more and more now that he’s found love, he still just mostly grunts and growls.
As possessive as he is over his wife, her showing me affection probably makes him crazy. I know him well enough to understand his growl is less about her hand on my arm and more a warning to me not to snap at her. Everyone around here seems to know Thursdays are the nights I’m most likely to be a snarly asshole these days.
“No idea what you’re talking about, kiddo.” I temper my voice so Callum settles down. Not that he backs off at all.
“Sure, boss-man. You can lie to yourself, but a woman in love can spot a pining man a mile away.”
“I’m not pining. I’m watching over an employee to ensure she gets to her vehicle safely after her shift.” And then, obsessing over every minute she’s gone until I see her again. I don’t add that part aloud. I’m not an idiot.
“You could just follow her like Callum did me before we got together.” The sly wink she throws over her shoulder at him is adorable. Last year, when she realized Cal was practically stalking her because he was head over heels gone for her, she turned the tables. She managed to ‘stalk’ him right back until he had no choice but to use his voice and make her his.
A childhood accident had rendered him nearly mute, so speaking up to win her over was a big deal for him. Still, the circumstances were totally different. Callum might be part owner of the club with me, Liam, and Casyn, but I’m the president. The big boss.
Back when Callum first started his silent shadow routine,andwhen the twins started panting after Marlyce, it was my job to pull the ladies into my office to touch base with them. I made sure they felt safe, respected, and didn’t feel pressured to reciprocate the guys’ attention. For weeks, it fell to me to worry whether my idiot best friends were creating a toxic work environment for employees.
Lucky for us, the women were both as in love with my buddies as the guys were with them. Sexual harassment suits are not an attractive look for a nightclub working to cultivate a reputation as a safe place for women to come and have a great time. So yeah, a totally different situation.
“Not happening. Just because the stalker thing worked out for you and Marlyce doesn’t mean it wouldn’t scare Sirena. Even if she never looks twice at me, I won’t do anything to make her want to leave Loft.” Fuck, even the idea of her not working here anymore is enough to give me angina. I’m too damn young for my heart to hurt like that.
“Oh, she looks twice. Trust me.” With that potentially useless bit of hope-inducing promise, Lumi allows Callum to pry her away from me and haul her toward the back where the management offices are. I’m more glad than ever that we sprung for soundproofing back there. I’ve got payroll to process before I can get out of here for the night, and I really have no desire to hear what I’m sure they’re about to get up to.
Especially, since more than ever, it seems as if I’ll never get to that point with Sirena.
CHAPTER2
SIRENA REED
“Mommy, we’re outta pumpkin spice frozen waffles, and I’m hungry.” My sweet, but feisty, baby girl’s voice could pull me back from the depths of hell itself, and normally, I’d be happy for it. But things were just getting good in my dream about my boss doing some very, very unbosslike things when she burst into my bedroom with her breakfast demand.
Guess I should be thankful. Dreaming about Jonah and wishing things could be different is a depth of hell itself. I see the way he watches me with care and interest that goes deeper than that of an employer for his worker. It hurts that I have to turn him down every time he asks me out. Even when he’s asking in friendship, without any pressure. I can’t afford the risk he’d bring to my life. To my daughter’s life.
Lavender has to come first. She’s only six, and she deserves to have the most stability and security I can give her. I only turned twenty-one a few months ago, pretty much the week before I got hired at Loft. Starting work there has been the turning point for us, which is why I’m so determined not to let anything put my job at risk.
What’s riskier than falling for my boss? Aside from letting my first, and to date only, boyfriend convince me to go all the way with him, nothing. I learned then and there that risk taking isn’t for me. Yeah, I wouldn’t trade my daughter for anything, but taking that risk at fourteen had cost me my parents, my home, and so many normal teenage experiences I missed out on to raise her.
I’d been lucky enough to land in a foster home that took me in while I was pregnant and helped me learn how to be a mom when she was born. To this day, I know Mama Krissy and her husband, Mr. Dwight, love and care about me. They’re proud of me for being a good mom to Lavender, and they help out as much as they can. They’ve got new foster kids living there now, so I have to keep my feet underneath me and a roof over our heads.
“Just have a blueberry waffle, Snookie. I’ll buy more pumpkin ones at the store this afternoon.” I’m pretty sure I’m using actual words, but as tired as I am, all I hear is a long, rumbly mumble. Lav understands me perfectly, though.