After watching them, I knew I would get my butt handed to me, but I didn’t want that to hold me back.
“I’d like to try anyway.”
“Good, I’m taking a break,” Eden said, collapsing on the frozen ground nearby.
Hannah waved me forward.
“We’ll start simple and use Merdon’s favorite move,” she said. “I’m going to try to knock you to the ground. Make sure you land on your back and get your forearm up to my throat. If I’m an infected, that move keeps my teeth from getting to you. Brace your hand on my shoulder for support. Ready?”
I nodded but quickly learned how unready I was.
Despite all the time I had spent on the treadmill in the bunker, Hannah was faster and stronger. And, it didn’t matter that they’d all been doing this longer, it still frustrated me to be the least able-bodied. Well, Angel was technically less able than me, but she was pregnant. I didn’t even have that as an excuse.
“I know that face,” Hannah said, offering me yet another hand up. “Don’t let the voice in your head talk you down. You’re doing great, and fighting with you is better than fighting with Eden. She bites.”
“So do infected,” Eden called out, not taking her eyes off of Brenna, who was working with her on the bow.
“Please don’t quit and leave me with the biter,” Hannah begged.
“I’m done after this,” Brenna called.
“Me too,” Angel said, letting an arrow fly. “My back’s getting sore. Feet, too.”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “You’re only saying that so you get a massage.”
“Yep,” Angel said with an unrepentant grin. “You should try it some time.”
Hannah snorted. “Merdon doesn’t do manipulation.”
“Does he know most massages have happy endings?”
“Angel, if you don’t shut your mouth, I’m shoving a snack cake in it,” Eden warned.
Hannah flashed a bright smile at me. “Looks like you’re off the hook. You better be here tomorrow, though.”
“She will be,” Angel said. “I’ll stop by and pick her up.”
The group broke apart, still bantering as they went their own separate ways. Tor approached, his gaze seeing far too much as he studied me.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“A little,” I admitted. All the exercise had reminded me I’d skipped breakfast. And dinner the night before.
We slowly walked back to the house. The hurt crept back in as I looked through the cupboards for something easy to make.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” Tor asked.
“Sure. A movie sounds good.”
Except, I didn’t really see the movie. My mind fixated on Adam and everything that had gone wrong. It would be easy to say it was the beating that had been the catalyst, but the beating would have never happened if the world was still the way it had been. If Adam and I were finishing up our senior years. If he was still talking to agents and scouts.
Tor laughed, drawing my attention. He glanced at me and flashed his teeth. I couldn’t help but smile back and feel a twinge of guilt at my selfish thinking. Sure, without the earthquake, my life would probably still have been happily moving along. But then Tor would have been stuck in his caves, living endless lives with no hope for a future family whatsoever without women.
That thought caused a deeply painful epiphany that I didn’t want to acknowledge.
Although I felt like my future had been ripped from me, that wasn’t the reality. There were other men out there. Perhaps, one day, that would sound like a good thing. Just not today.
When the movie ended, I went upstairs and ran myself a hot bath. It’d been ages since I’d had one, and it felt good. Since Angel had been right about crying, I didn’t waste any more tears on Adam. Instead, I let myself remember all the good things. The late nights laughing. The romantic moments. The heated looks. Cheering him on at his games. In each memory, I began to see what I loved most about him. His unshakable confidence, persistence, and his incredible smile.