"So, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't?"
"Pretty much,” she says unhelpfully. “Listen, have fun tonight and try to get a read on him. If he's standoffish, then you know things went a bit too far. Follow his lead and go with your gut. Relationships have started over a lot less."
"Austin, this isn't some romance book. Guys like him don't fall for fat girls like me."
"I'm coming to the library at lunch to whoop your ass for calling yourself fat. I don't know who put it into your head that it’s okay to talk to yourself like that. You’re fucking gorgeous, and the right man will love your curves because I would kill for them."
We've had conversations like this many times. I try to love my body, but I wasn't always overweight. I was skinny in school and then busted my butt in college to get my degrees early. The stress made gaining weight easier than losing it, and my college boyfriend made it very clear how he felt about that.
I guess it's easy to believe the bad things but a lot harder to believe the good things, no matter how hard your best friend tries to reassure you.
My nerves are in full flight by the time North knocks on my door. I'm in jeans and a dressy sweater since I know it will be colder out on the water. When I open the door, I'm not expecting him to eat me up with his eyes. He looks at me like I'm wearing the sexiest lingerie he's ever seen.
"I can go change..." I start to say.
"Don't you dare. You look stunning." He steps forward, places a hand on my hip, and kisses my cheek.
He keeps his hand on my lower back as he guides me to the car and opens my car door like a gentleman. Starting the car, he reaches over and holds my hand the whole way, asking about my day and telling me about his.
"My dad wants to know if you can come over for breakfast tomorrow,” I ask him shyly, remembering my conversation with Dad at lunch. “My sister has something planned, so it would just be the three of us,"
Dad seems to be under the impression that things are a bit more serious between us than they are. I'm not sure how he thinks that, considering this is all fake.
"Sure. And since we have an off day tomorrow with no wedding events, why don't we go out and do something, just you and me?"
I want to ask if he means an actual date, but then I remember that people in town expect to see us out together, especially on a night when we don't have any wedding events.
I agree, and we head on to the boat for the wedding party Christmas light cruise. We say our hellos, but the bride and groom avoid us, which is fine with me, and by the looks of it, with North too.
As the boat leaves the dock and starts heading around the lake, I find a spot leaning against one of the handrails and take in the view. North joins me, pressing his front to my back and resting his hands on either side of mine on the rail. He rests his head beside mine as we relax and watch the lights, ignoring everyone else around us.
"You look beautiful in this light," he whispers, and my cheeks heat with a blush. "And you look sexy as hell when you blush like that too. I didn't sleep a wink last night because you had me so damn turned on, baby."
He runs his nose down my neck. He's teasing me, but I can feel how hard he is, so he's teasing himself as much as me.
His soft caresses and teasing continue for the rest of the cruise, and by the time we head home, I'm so damn turned on I think I might explode if he doesn't touch me.
Chapter 8
North
Ihadnoideasomething as simple as a cruise around the lake to look at Christmas lights could be such a damn turn-on. But having Candy pressed against me the whole time was equal amounts of torture and pleasure. And she knew exactly what she was doing when she wiggled against me. I was hard all night, but on the flip side, I got to hold her in my arms. This has become so much more than a simple fake relationship for my brother's wedding. I never expected to feel like this for her.
It's easy to convince myself this is a real relationship because it feels like one. It’s what I desperately want, but I have no idea if Candy feels the same way. I'm hoping the way she kisses me means she does.
We get to her house, and I walk her to the door, her hand in mine. When we reach the door, she stops and looks back at me, and I see the desire in her eyes. Tonight turned her on as much as me.
"Would you like to come in?" she asks.
I hesitate for a moment. I should turn around and head home. I should politely turn her down because if I go in, I won’t be able to stop after all the teasing tonight. But I also know I can’t walk away from her. What we have has a deadline unless I can figure out a way to convince her that we're more.
"Yeah, I would," I tell her, stepping inside as she opens the door.
"Would you like some hot chocolate? I think it'd be a great way to warm up after being out on the lake all night," she says as she makes her way toward the kitchen.
I get the feeling she needs to be busy because she's nervous. "Hot chocolate sounds great." I follow her to the kitchen and sit at the small table, watching her move around the kitchen, opening cupboards and starting some hot chocolate on the stove.
"Do you like marshmallows in your hot chocolate? I don't have any whipped cream, but I have a ton of marshmallows," she rambles nervously.