“Well,” he said, breathing deeply, “Joy and I would like to marry.”
“OK,” I said, my brain already kicking into high gear, calculating the perfect time to announce our divorce. We’d already had two movies come out, one a modest hit, one a smash. The third, Carolina Sunset, about a young couple who have lost a child and move to a farm in North Carolina to try to heal, ultimately having affairs with people in their small town, was premiering in a few months.
Rex had phoned in his performance. But I knew the movie had the potential to be big for me. “We’ll say that the stress of filming Carolina Sunset, of being on set and watching each other kiss other people, ruined us. Everyone will feel bad for us but not too bad. People love stories of hubris. We took what we had for granted, and now we’re paying the price. You’ll wait a little while. We’ll plant a story that I introduced you to Joy because I wanted you to be happy.”
“That’s great, Evelyn, really,” Rex said. “Except that Joy’s pregnant. We’re having a baby.”
I closed my eyes, frustrated. “OK,” I said. “OK. Let me think.”
“What if we just say that we haven’t been happy for a while? That we’ve been living separate lives?”
“Then we’re saying that our chemistry has fizzled out. And who’s going to go see Carolina Sunset then?”
This was the moment, the one Harry had warned me about. Rex didn’t care about Carolina Sunset, certainly not as much as I did. He knew he wasn’t anything special in it, and even if he was, he was all wrapped up in his new love, his new baby.
He looked out the window and then back at me. “OK,” he said. “You’re right. We went into this together, we’ll leave it together. What do you suggest? I told Joy we’d be married by the time the baby comes.”
Rex North was always a more stand-up guy than anyone gave him credit for.
“Obviously,” I said. “Of course.”
The doorbell rang, and a moment later, Harry walked into the kitchen.
I had an idea.
It wasn’t a flawless idea.
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Almost no idea is.
“We’re having affairs,” I said.
“What?” Rex asked.
“Good morning,” Harry said, realizing he’d missed a large part of the conversation.
“During the course of making a movie about both of us having affairs, we both started having affairs. You with Joy, me with Harry.”
“What?” Harry said.
“People know we work together,” I said to Harry. “They’ve seen us together. You’ve been in the background of hundreds of photos of me. They’ll believe it.” I turned to Rex. “We’ll divorce immediately after the stories are planted. And anyone who blames you for cheating on me with Joy, which we can’t deny for obvious reasons, will realize it’s a victimless crime. Because I was doing it to you, too.”
“This actually isn’t a terrible idea,” Rex said.
“Well, it makes both of us look bad,” I said.
“Sure,” Rex said.
“But it will sell tickets,” Harry said.
Rex smiled and then looked me right in the eye, put out his hand, and shook mine.
* * *
“NO ONE’S GOING to believe it,” Harry said as we drove to the tennis club later that morning. “People in town, at least.”
“What do you mean?”