econd after I do, I realize that I want to pull it back, that I’m not ready to be this close.
“I love it!” the photographer says. “Just like that.”
I cannot pull my arm away now. And so I pretend. I pretend, for one picture, that I am not a bundle of nerves. I pretend that I am not furious and confused and heartbroken and torn up and disappointed and shocked and uncomfortable.
I pretend that I am simply captivated by Evelyn Hugo.
Because, despite everything, I still am.
* * *
AFTER THE PHOTOGRAPHER leaves, after everyone has cleaned up, after Frankie has left the apartment, so happy that she could have sprouted wings and flown herself back to the office, I am preparing to leave.
Evelyn is upstairs changing her clothes.
“Grace,” I say as I spot her gathering disposable cups and paper plates in the kitchen. “I wanted to take a moment to say good-bye, since Evelyn and I are done.”
“Done?” Grace asks.
I nod. “We finished up the story yesterday. Photo shoot today. Now I get to writing,” I say, even though I haven’t the foggiest idea how I’m going to approach any of this or what, exactly, my next step is.
“Oh,” Grace says, shrugging. “I must have misunderstood. I thought you were going to be here with Evelyn through my vacation. But honestly, all I could focus on was that I had two tickets to Costa Rica in my hands.”
“That’s exciting. When do you leave?”
“On the red-eye later,” Grace says. “Evelyn gave them to me last night. For me and my husband. All expenses paid. A week. We’re staying near Monteverde. All I heard was ‘zip-lining in the cloud forest,’ and I was sold.”
“You deserve it,” Evelyn says as she appears at the top of the stairs and walks down to meet us. She is in jeans and a T-shirt but has kept her hair and makeup. She looks gorgeous but also plain. Two things that only Evelyn Hugo can be at once.
“Are you sure you don’t need me here? I thought Monique would be around to keep you company,” Grace says.
Evelyn shakes her head. “No, you go. You’ve done so much for me lately. You need some time on your own. If something comes up, I can always call downstairs.”
“I don’t need to—”
Evelyn cuts her off. “Yes, you do. It’s important that you know how much I appreciate all that you’ve done around here. So let me say thank you this way.”
Grace smiles demurely. “OK,” she says. “If you insist.”
“I do. In fact, go home now. You’ve been cleaning all day, and I’m sure you need more time to pack. So go on, get out of here.”
Surprisingly, Grace doesn’t fight her. She merely says thank you and gathers her things. Everything seems to be happening seamlessly until Evelyn stops her on her way out and gives her a hug.
Grace seems slightly surprised though pleased.
“You know I could never have spent these past few years without you, don’t you?” Evelyn says as she pulls away from her.
Grace blushes. “Thank you.”
“Have fun in Costa Rica,” Evelyn says. “The time of your life.”
And once Grace is out the door, I suspect I understand what is going on.
Evelyn was never going to let the thing that made her be the thing to destroy her. She was never going to let anything, even a part of her body, have that sort of power.
Evelyn is going to die when she wants to.
And she wants to die now.