“What?”
“You’re playing opposite Don Adler.”
WHY DID YOU AGREE TO do it?” I ask her. “Why not say you wanted him cut from the film?”
“Well, first of all, you don’t go throwing your weight around unless you’re sure you’ll win,” Evelyn says. “And I was only about eighty percent sure that if I pitched a fit, Max would fire him. And second of all, it seemed mildly cruel, to be honest. Don was not doing well. He hadn’t had a hit in years, and most younger moviegoers didn’t know who he was. He was divorced from Ruby, hadn’t remarried, and the rumor was that his drinking had gotten out of control.”
“So you felt bad for him? Your abuser?”
“Relationships are complex,” Evelyn says. “People are messy, and love can be ugly. I’m inclined to always err on the side of compassion.”
“You’re saying you had compassion for what he was going through?”
“I’m saying you should have a little compassion for how complicated it must have been for me.”
Cut down to size, I find myself staring at the floor, unable to look at her. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I haven’t been in that situation before, and I was . . . I don’t know what I was thinking making any sort of judgment. I apologize.”
Evelyn smiles gently, accepting my apology. “I can’t speak for all people who have been hit by someone they love, but what I can tell you is that forgiveness is different from absolution. Don was no longer a threat to me. I was not scared of him. I felt powerful and free. So I told Max I’d meet with him. Celia was supportive but also hesitant once she learned Don had been cast. Harry, while cautious, trusted my ability to handle the situation. So my representatives called Don’s people, and we set a time and place for the next time I was in L.A. I had suggested the bar at the Beverly Hills Hotel, but Don’s team changed it at the last minute to Canter’s Deli. That’s how I ended up seeing my ex-husband for the first time in more than fifteen years over a pair of Reubens.”
I’M SORRY, EVELYN,” DON SAID when he sat down. I had already ordered an iced tea and eaten half of a sour pickle. I thought he was apologizing for being late.
“It’s only five past one,” I said. “It’s fine.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. He looked pale but also a bit thinner than some of his recent photos. The years we had been apart had not been good to Don. His face had bloated, and his waistline had widened. But he was still heads and tails more handsome than anyone else in the place. Don was the sort of man who was always going to be handsome, no matter what happened to him. His good looks were just that loyal.
“I’m sorry,” he said. The emphasis, the meaningfulness of it, hit me.
It caught me off guard. The waitress came by and asked for his drink order. He didn’t order a martini or a beer. He ordered a Coca-Cola. When she left, I found myself unsure what to say to him.
“I’m sober,” he said. “Have been for two hundred and fifty-six days.”
“That many, huh?” I said as I took a sip of my iced tea.
“I was a drunk, Evelyn. I know that now.”
“You were also a cheater and a pig,” I said.
Don nodded. “I know that, too. And I’m deeply sorry.”
I had flown all the way here to see if I could do a movie with him. I had not come to be apologized to. The thought had never occurred to me. I merely assumed I would use him this time the way I used him back then; his name near mine would get people talking.
But this repentant man in front of me was surprising and overwhelming.
“What am I supposed to do with that?” I asked him. “That you’re sorry? What is that supposed to mean to me?”
The waitress came and took our orders.
“A Reuben, please,” I said, handing her the menu. If I was going to have a real conversation about this, I needed a hearty meal.
“I’ll have the same,” Don said.
She knew who we were; I could see it in the way her lips kept trying to hold back a smile.
When she left, Don leaned in. “I know it doesn’t make up for what I did to you,” he said.
“Good,” I said. “Because it really doesn’t.”
“But I hope it might make you feel a little better,” he said, “to know that I know I was wrong, I know you deserved better, and I’m working every day to be a better man.”