“You can sit. If you want.” His voice moved closer to me, the warmth in it prickling the hairs on my neck.
Keeping my eyes ahead, I moved to the small couch and sat on the edge of a cushion. The frame cut into my thighs as I folded my hands. I may not have been sure why I was there or what I expected to get out of this little impromptu meeting, but I knew it felt good just being in the same room as Luca. Fuck,it felt good.
Luca sat in a chair across from me, leaving a sturdy, dark stained coffee table between us. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and steepled his fingers under his chin. His whole body leaned in my direction like at any minute he would lunge at me. I found my own shoulders leaning forward, trying to close the distance over the table.
We sat there staring at one another, the clock on the wall ticking away. The same fire that was always there licked at us. We were on the verge of fighting or fucking. At this point,I was ready for either.
His full lips parted a couple of times before he finally spoke. “How are you doing since . . .” He trailed off, not able to or not wanting to finish his thought.
Nodding, I fought to keep my eyes on his face. I wanted to look away. I felt guilty. Seeing him shouldn’t make me feel happy, but it did. “I’m fine.”
Luca lifted one eyebrow but said nothing.
I blew out a breath and shook my hands out. I’d been so sure about talking to him, but now I didn’t know what to say. “Fine. I’m not fine. Happy? I’m fucking scared, Luca.”
He shifted his feet,his hands dropping between his knees,and he folded in on himself. “I’m so sorry. I—” And then he stopped talking. The fucker just sat there,staring at a spot on the carpet.
After waiting for him to say anything, I snorted. This was fucking ridiculous. “Sorry doesn’t make me feel any safer. Sorry doesn’t erase the sleepless nights or the fear that someone is going to kill me.” Blood pumped viciously through my veins. My legs bounced until I had no choice but to jump off the couch. I vibrated as I circled the coffee table toward him. I wanted to yell in his goddamn face. “Sorry doesn’t tell me who the fuck I can trust or if I can trust you to keep me safe.”
Luca’s head shot up, followed by his body. His whole face shifted into a scowl. Heat rolled off him as he crowded me back against the arm of the couch, my ass perched on the edge. He gripped my chin tightly, his fingers digging into my skin. “Don’t fucking say that, Sasha. If you trust nothing else, trust that I will always keep you safe.”
His hold tightened,and his other hand pushed my leg aside so he could move closer. Our chests heaved against one another as I trembled with anticipation of our bodies pressing closer together. His wool pants scratched against my thighs that were begging to trap him against me. Lust twisted with anger, turning me into a shaking, panting mess.
“How can you do that when you told me yourself you don’t trust your own men?” Pushing on his chest, I tried to make space, only to have him press closer and trap my hands between us.
“I would never put anyone near you I didn’t trust. You have to believe me, baby. Either Pete or I have eyes on you twenty-four seven. No one else,Sasha.”
My breath caught in my throat as Luca’s eyes only increased in intensity. He’d been watching me. He and Pete had been there the whole time.
Why hadn’t he just told me that in the first place?
Luca’s face moved closer, and he exhaled against my lips. “Pete would die for you. I would die for you.”
Leaning in a few inches, I laid my forehead on his shoulder. One deep inhale of his fresh scent and my body softened against his hold. “That’s the thing, Luca. I don’t want anyone to die.” Pulling back a little, our cheeks brushed. The tiny bristle of his beard raking against my soft skin made me shiver. My lips grazed his ear. “I just don’t want to be scared anymore.”
Luca sighed and pulled his head back, putting useyeto eye. “I handled it. There’s no more Moretti threat.”
“What do you mean?” I knew what he meant, what he had done, but I wanted to hear him say the words.
Never looking away from me, he answered. “We took care of it.”
His eyes held a sadness that made me ache for him. Luca valued family above everythingelse and had put me before them yet again. My heart swelled for the man I loved, the man that loved me, the man that would kill for me.
I should’ve been horrified, should’ve feared the man holding me sotightly. Instead,I felt safe. I felt so fucking safe. And I felt loved.
I don’t know who moved first, but before I knew it,our lips locked together. My lungs screamed for air, but I refused to pull away.
I was home.
Luca’s fingers twisted in my hair, holding me to him, while his other hand squeezed my ass.I wiggled my fingers, my hands wedged between us. Fingering a button on his shirt, I started the pointless task of undoing that one button and touching the skin beneath. I’d never been so hungry for anyone.
With a gasp, Luca pulled away, his chest heaving. The dark brown eyes I loved so much scanned my face. I could see the questions and doubts swirling in their inky depths. I had no doubts about what I wanted and hoped Luca would get on the same page.
Our mouths only inches apart, I tilted my chin up, asking for more. When he still didn’t kiss me, I said, “Fucking kiss me,Luca.”
His lips twitched at the corners, but he didn’t smile. “We can’t be together,Sasha.”
“I know.” And I did. As much as my heart fucking bled for this man, I understood. If anything happened to me because of him,he wouldn’t survive. If he werehurt protecting me, I would burn this fucking world down. Our love was extreme, too volatile to survive.