“No.” She quirks an eyebrow, and I correct myself. “I do want to scene with you, yes. But this evening, I want something else. You're suspicious. You don't trust us. That’s fair—you don't know us. You have good reasons to assume the worst of people.”
“Okay?”
“Here’s the offer. I'll tell you the truth. The complete, unvarnished truth. And in exchange, you tell me why you're here. Why, despite your mistrust, you're still in this room.”
She hesitates for a long moment, and then she nods slightly. “You have a deal.”
I take a fortifying sip of whiskey. “I grew up poor as dirt. I fought to get where I am, and it hasn’t always been easy.” That’s an understatement. “When I graduated law school, I was hired at Weddell Burke.”
The memories still have the power to hurt. “I thought my troubles were behind me, but they were just getting started. Weddell Burke has an office in New York, but they’re a British firm, an old-school one. All their partners went to Oxford. Half of them were titled. I didn’t fit in. I knew it, but I fought anyway. I was hungry. Ambitious. Anyway, to cut a long story short, after being passed up for promotion three times, I was exhausted. I was ready to quit.”
Theo has a frown on his face.
“That’s when I went to the Meyer holiday party.” I look right at Adelaide. “I was mired in the struggle, and I’d lost sight of the prize. Then Elliott Meyer showed up with you at his side. One look at you, and the hunger came roaring back. If I was very good, if I worked very hard, I could have someone like you.”
“Arm candy.”
“Expensive arm candy.”
She sees right through me. “You’ve worked very hard. You’re a partner at your law firm. You’ve achieved everything you set out to do. And it doesn’t feel as fulfilling as it’s supposed to. So here you are, ready to claim your reward. That’s why you’re in this room.”
I grimace. It sounds terrible when she puts it that way. As if I’m incapable of seeing her as a real person. “I promised you the truth. Even if it shows that I’m a shallow, superficial twat. There it is. Now you know.” I take another sip of my drink. “What about you, Adelaide Byard? What brings you here?”
5
ADDIE
You’re being a bitch, Addie,Elliot would have said. He would have been laughing when he said it, though. Elliot enjoyed my grumpiness.
He would have been right. I’m not being fair to Theo and Shane. If they had nefarious intentions, Xavier wouldn’t have arranged this meeting. I wouldn’t have driven four hours to the castle. I wouldn’t have brought a change of clothes, and I wouldn’t have booked a room at Summit for the weekend.
Yes, they want to scene with me for the most superficial reasons. To Theo, I’m some kind of ideal submissive, one he saw on the center stage of the club. Shane thinks I’m a sign that he’s arrived. Theo’s story is a shade more romantic than Shane’s, but let’s be honest here: they saw me, they thought I was hot, and they want to fuck me.
But can I really hold their reasons against them? If I did, I would be the biggest hypocrite in the world. My reasons are no better. I’m in Xavier’s office because I miss sex. I miss being tied up and I miss being ordered around. I’m hoping that for the space of one evening, Shane and Theo will give me what I need.
They might be objectifying me. Then again, I’m objectifying them too. As horrible as it sounds, I don't need to know anything about them to have sex with them. This is a transactional relationship. I don't want to understand Theo and Shane, and I don’t need to like them. Liking, affection, love—these are no longer part of my life.
One thing I appreciate? They didn’t bullshit me when I pushed them. They didn’t get angry either. I’ve seen dominants in the club, both men and women, that have bad tempers, and they are always to be avoided. There was a guy here once, Raymond Downing, whose submissives were terrified of him. Thankfully, he’s no longer a member.
Theo and Shane could have reacted to my hostility in many ways. They could have lost their tempers. They could have implied that I had no right to question them, or they could have been condescending and dismissive.
Instead, they answered my questions honestly. Whether or not they intended to, they showed me a sliver of who they are.
Time for some honesty of my own. “I haven't scened since Elliott died,” I say quietly. “It's been over two years. I miss it. When Xavier said that you were interested, my initial response was to decline. But the more I thought about it, the more tempted I grew. This feels like a safe way to dip my toes back in the water.”
My answer takes Theo by surprise. His eyes widen. “It's been two years since you've scened?”
I wince.This is like a Band-Aid, Addie. Best to rip it off.“Not just scening. There's been no vanilla sex either.”
“Oh wow,” Theo says softly. “That is a long time.”
I nod again, looking at him properly for the very first time. Theo Keppel is broad and solid. His hair is sandy brown, and his eyes are the clear blue of a summer sky. He's wearing a white shirt tucked into gray slacks, sleeves rolled up to the elbow. I imagine his big palm wrapped around my neck, and a shiver of desire runs through me.
Shane is lean, built like a runner. He's wearing a suit. Unlike Theo, his tie is still on, and so is his jacket. He looks like he could be heading into a business meeting, and the only thing that counters that narrative is the drink in his hand.
“Is that a deal-breaker?” I ask bluntly.
“No,” Shane replies. “Not for me.” He glances at Theo, and whatever he sees there puts a smile on his lips. “Not for Theo either.” He leans forward. “Would you like a drink?”