1
Sophia
I've gone out on a lot of first dates. Sometimes, the guy I’m with turns out to be a decent human being, and we agree to go out again. But more often than not, the opposite happens.
Three minutes into dinner, I’ve realized that tonight’s date is going to be a complete bust.
So far, Matthew Barnes has:
Insisted we go out for dinner instead of grabbing a coffee like I suggested.
Picked the restaurant without soliciting my opinion.
Both things have me a little on edge. I don’t like high-handed men. But as I sit down, I caution myself to keep an open mind. Maybe Matthew’s not good at this. Maybe he’s just nervous.
Then the waitress shows up, and Matthew proceeds to order for me.
“I’ll have the seafood platter,” he says. “Don’t stint on the lobster. And Sophia will have the steak. Medium-rare.”
Umm, what?
He turns to me. “It’s very good here,” he says smugly. “You’ll love it. You’re not on a diet, are you? Tell me you’re not the sort of girl that only eats salad.”
My mouth falls open. This is wrong on so many levels that I’m at a complete loss for words, and by the time I remember to speak, the waitress is gone. Short of running after her, I’m stuck eating a steak that I neither want nor can afford.
Also, not to be petty about it, but I like my steak well-done. Sorry if that offends the red meat purists out there, but medium-rare is only a step up from raw, and ugh.
As far as I can tell, Matthew is roughly the same age as me. How does one live in today’s society and think it’s acceptable to order for someone on a first date?
Disqualified.
I met Matthew at the grocery store, and we struck up a conversation in the cereal aisle. He looked helpless. “I can’t find the Grape Nuts,” he said. “I’ve walked up and down this aisle three times. Am I losing my mind?”
He looked charmingly frazzled. I laughed and found them for him. We commiserated at the sheer number of brands of cereal available for sale. Then he asked me out. “Don't worry,” he added. “The cereal is for my niece. I'm single.”
Most of the guys I go out with I’ve met online. I’ve never been asked out in the grocery store—is that even a thing? I was confused and flattered in equal measure. I wouldn’t have said yes, but the last three online dates were complete busts, and I thought I’d try something different.
So much for that.
Our meals arrive. I don’t want to be the person who sends my food back, so I grit my teeth and nibble at the undercooked steak. Matthew doesn’t notice and spends the next twenty minutes talking about himself. I learn about his construction business. How clever he is because he can write off his new truck as a business expense. I’m treated to a step-by-step replay of his last golf round. “I could have turned pro,” he brags. “But I focused on my business, and it’s paid off. Big-time.”
Yes, I get it, Matthew. You are very rich. Yay for you.
At the half-hour mark, he finally asks me about myself. “What do you do, Sophia?”
“I’m the Director of Outreach at the Highfield Community Health Center,” I reply. “Do you know it? We offer low-cost healthcare to people that don’t have insurance and have to pay out-of-pocket for services.”
“Community healthcare?” Matthew’s face turns red. “I bet my tax dollars pay for it. Everyone wants a handout nowadays. Why don't they just get a job?”
I count to ten in my head. I’ve heard a variation of this argument more times than I can count, and I have a lot of practice keeping my cool. “Many jobs don’t offer healthcare,” I reply calmly. “A lot of corporations keep people part-time so they don't have to put them on their benefits plan.”
“What kind of jobs?”
“Fast food,” I respond. “Retail. Waitstaff. Our waitress tonight is unlikely to have healthcare.” The electricians and plumbers that work for Matthew’s company probably don’t have benefits either. He’s already mentioned that he classifies them as independent contractors. But in the interests of diplomacy, I don’t point that out.
“If our waitress wanted a better job, she should have gone to college.”
There are several things I could say about that. I could point out that student debt is at an all-time high. I could tell him that having a college degree is no guarantee of finding a decent job. I could talk about jobs that require advanced degrees but pay like crap. Social workers. School teachers.