Then he strode across the room to the desk and grabbed his greatcoat and hat. He turned and flashed her a wide smile before opening the door and exiting out into the cold afternoon. Olivia pressed a hand to her lips with trembling fingers. Max’s kiss had unlocked something inside her she hadn’t thought she would experience again. Desire raced through her veins making her feel alive, like her body had awoken from a long slumber. This feeling was reckless, glorious, terrifying. She wandered across the room to the desk, and ran her fingertips across the soft needles of the decorations lining the top. Could she allow herself to give Max a second chance?
Then she noticed a small burlap bag right in the middle of the desktop. A bright red ribbon tied it closed. Picking it up, Olivia undid the bow and peeked inside. The bag was full of orange jellies, her favorite. She clutched the bag to her chest.Damn you, Max. You’re not going to make it easy for me to say no, are you?
Chapter Nineteen
“Still hiding, machérie?” Julien closed the library door behind him.
Olivia looked up from her book. “Julien, I’m not hiding. I am simply enjoying a good book by the fire.”
Julien chuckled. “May I join you?”
“Of course.” She motioned to the chair across from her. The sounds of muffled hammering filtered through the door. Olivia grimaced. “He has been at it all morning. When I walked past him earlier, he was standing precariously on a tall ladder tacking greenery to the molding above the front door. When I inquired why he hadn’t asked Daniels to take care of it, he grinned and said the job needed a creative eye.”
“The decoration looks quite nice in the main hall. When I passed him last, he and Louisa were wrapping the stair railing with garland.”
“The dinner party was meant to be a simple affair. Unfortunately, I fear there is no such thing when it comes to Mrs. Drake and her family.”
Julien shrugged. “It will be fun. All of your favorite people will be here, no? So, tell me, why are you hiding with your book?”
“I am not hiding. I’m just not in the mood for Christmas celebrations. Why must we make such a fuss?”
“I am happy to spend Christmas here with you and your guests. I always envied that Henry would return here in December and make merry for Christmastide. I told him I went to visit my family, but in truth, I spent the holiday alone.”
“Oh, Julien. How awful to be alone at Christmas.” Olivia leaned forward and laid her hand on his arm. “I don’t mean to sound so grouchy. It’s just that celebrating Christmas without Henry feels wrong. He was the arbitrator of fun. He loved Christmas. I miss him.”
Julien took her hand in both of his. “I miss him, too.” After a moment, he released her. “Are you sure it’s not the new earl that has you hiding? His eyes watched you very carefully last night at dinner. He wears his feelings on his sleeve.”
Olivia let out a sigh. She had felt his watchful gaze too. But she had been grateful Max hadn’t tried to press her about his question from the bookstore. Julien leaned back with his hands folded together and waited patiently for her answer. Olivia bit her lower lip. “We kissed yesterday in the bookshop.”
Julien’s eyes widened. “Well, that explains all his staring. It does not explain why you are hiding from him. Was his kiss unwanted? Did he force his attentions on you?”
“No, nothing like that. It was unexpected…how I felt was unexpected.” She shook her head. “It’s complicated.”
“Attraction is never complicated. Olivia, I know that you and Henry had a platonic arrangement. Did you not ever take a lover during the years you were married?”
She felt her cheeks heat, and she placed her hands on them. “No!”
“Whyever not? Henry had me; I know he wouldn’t have minded.”
Henry had said as much to her once. But the idea of taking a lover had seemed so blasé, so very not like her. She had never met anyone who had sparked her interest even. She had been content with her friendships, her estate, and the occasional trip to London to visit with her husband. Except now she had this terrible ache, this desire for that fire that had consumed her yesterday when Max’s body had pressed against hers, his lips searing hers with his kisses.
“Chérie, it is obvious this man desires you. So let yourself be desired for once. I sense he will make a good lover.” Julien chuckled. “He is a fine specimen of a man.”
Olivia gaped open-mouthed at his comment. Julien’s frankness shocked her. No one she knew spoke so openly about intimacy. It made her wonder, could she take a lover? Could she take Max as a lover?
The door flung open, and the fine specimen of a man filled the doorway. Max’s gaze swung between her and Julien, and his brow wrinkled briefly. “Olivia, I could use your opinion about something. Will you come to take a look?”
She glanced at Julien, who just gave her a broad wink. “He desires your opinion, Olivia. Go see what he needs.”
Olivia sent him a quelling look before rising from her chair. “Of course, I’m happy to help.”
Chapter Twenty
Max winged outhis elbow, and Olivia slid her hand through without hesitation, offering him a smile. The tightness in his chest loosened, and he tugged her close to his side. He swore she had been avoiding him since their kiss yesterday. The kiss had righted something in him. He wanted more kisses, more sighs of pleasure, more of Livvy. Max had a plan. He just needed to move slowly and let his actions show her how much he cared.
“Come see the drawing room. There is some discussion about the symmetry of the star. You must come be on my side.”
“The star?” she asked.