He shuffled, suddenly uncomfortable. “What?”
She looked up at him through misty eyes. “This is different. You’re not telling him about you, you’re talking about home. Telling him you miss it. Talking about your horse, how much you loved her and asking him if he’ll visit her because you miss her so much. You’re asking if you can come home for a visit.” She swallowed. “And there’s more.”
He shrugged. “Childish nonsense.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not. You were telling him you miss him, that you wanted to see him and that you loved him.”
“That’s a bit of a stretch from me missing my horse, isn’t it?”
She held out the letter to him. “No. It’s right here. After that. You signed it with love and added kisses.”
He took the letter, blinked, and then handed it back to her. “It was one of the letters I found stuffed into a bin with other things he didn’t want in his study.”
“And you kept it and put it in this box.”
“Some impulse made me. I must have felt sorry for the boy who wrote it and wanted to rescue something.”
“Or someone.”
He sat down and put his head in his hands. Between the locked door and the letter, he looked a broken man. She couldn’t bear that.
“It’s okay, Sebastian, it’s okay. Truthfully.”
But the expression in his eyes told her that everything was very far from okay.
“Nothing about this is okay, Indra.”
“Yes, it is. It has to be.” She gripped his hands. “Sebastian. You can’t live your life tainted by the past.”
“Why not? You do.”
She gasped and pulled away. She took a step back, not believing that he could so cruelly turn the tables on her. He rose and followed her.
“I’m sorry, but it’s true. You live your life scared of your own shadow because of your past. And I livemylife scared that remnants of that boy those letters reveal still exist inside of me. At least you still have a heart that’s true. I lost touch with mine years ago.”
He was right. They were both victims of their past and stuck in a present from which neither could escape if they’d wanted to.
“What has Charles done to us?” she half-whispered, shaking her head.
“He rescued you,” Sebastian said. “Gave you a home. And he sent me away from mine.”
“Until now.”
“Until now,” he repeated. His eyes roamed her face, and he lifted his hand and gently touched her hair. She held her breath, wondering what he would do next. She didn’t have to wonder long. His hand stopped its slow slide down her hair and, instead, followed the line of her jaw until he tilted her chin slightly. He didn’t exert any pressure but he didn’t need to because she couldn’t have stopped herself from lifting her face to his, her mouth closer to his, if her life had depended on it. But her life depended on the exact opposite. It depended on her being enfolded by his arms and drawn against his body and inhaling the essence of him. And he brought her into him as if he needed the exact same thing.
Chapter8
Indra couldn’t believe she’d forgotten how tender Sebastian’s lips were when pressed against hers. When she relived his previous kisses, her memory had always been swamped by how they’d made her feel throughout her whole body. But now, with his lips pressed against hers, she recalled their sensitivity as if he were more concerned with her own response than satisfying himself. It made it all the more seductive. His kiss was entirely sensual, drawing out her pleasure, exploring her as if she were the rarest of delicacies which he wanted to savor. Usually, his lips were tightly drawn, grim even, as if needing to keep something of himself back. But now there was nothing held back. His mouth controlled hers, his lips moving over hers with the softest of caresses, and with the most devastating of effects.
As the kiss deepened, he lifted his hands, hesitating a moment before cupping her face, holding it steady, as if he was worried she’d pull away. But there was no chance of that. This was exactly where she wanted to be. She placed her hands on his hips, slipping them around his behind, urging him to come closer to her, wanting to feel the length of his body pressed against hers. When their hips collided, and she felt his arousal, she gasped into his mouth, and the kiss turned from something tender and exploratory, to something very different.
His groan vibrated through her breasts, which were now pressed hard against his chest. A flick of his tongue against hers sent her heart into overdrive and her body tingling with sensations which she’d never felt before. Tentatively, she responded by sliding her tongue against his. He pulled her against his erection and she felt a throbbing of heat and moisture inside, forcing her brain to catch up with her body. She needed him and she wanted him and, in that moment, she didn’t care that she perceived him to be her enemy, that he was arrogant and obviously resented her. All she wanted was him and what he could give her.
His fingers splayed over her bottom, caressing her flesh as they descended lower, under her bottom, brushing private places. She should have stopped him but she couldn’t. Instead, the kiss grew in intensity until their breathing became labored and they pulled apart.
He swore under his breath as he nuzzled her ear, her neck and lower. All she could do was arch her neck to give his lips more of her body to explore. His fingers fumbled as he tried to undo the small seed buttons on her shirt. And, wanting to help him, she tugged at her shirt, not caring that the fine fabric tore. Taking his lead from her, he ripped her shirt open.
Suddenly the cool night air hit her overheated body, prickling her with goosebumps. It must have been that which made her nipples peak through the soft cotton of her bra. He looked down and swept his hands over the flat of her stomach. She gasped and he slid his fingers down the gap made between the top of her jeans and her stomach. Instinctively, she clamped her hands onto his. He withdrew his hand immediately.