“Withme?” she repeated incredulously. “Are you seriously telling me you haven’t been back to be with these people for over a year?”
He nodded and looked away. “I could not bear it.”
This got to her like nothing else had been able to do. “Zavian.” She placed her hand over his, which still lay on hers. He turned his around and captured hers, dropping it out of sight, beneath the table. His fingers explored hers, stroking along the length of hers, his eyes studying its progress as if mesmerized.
He looked up, and she could have sworn there were tears in his eyes if she hadn’t known better. The King of Gharb Havilah didn’t ever cry, and nor did her ex-lover, Zavian.
“Your hands are working hands,” he said with a strange gentleness.
She laughed, the tension broken by his words. “I see your gift for giving compliments hasn’t changed.” The laughter settled into a smile on her lips. It had no reflection in his own serious expression.
“I’ve never been good with words, you know that. It’s always been you who has possessed that gift.” He brought her hand up to the firelight, apparently uncaring if anyone should see. “But Idomean it as a compliment.” He slid his fingers up and down hers. “I remember watching you dig in the sands of the desert, and then at night…” Their gazes tangled for a moment as she wondered what he was going to describe. “Then, at night, your hardened fingers would hit the keys of your grandfather’s ancient typewriter, as you finished your work.”
“No electricity in the desert,” she replied softly.
He pulled her hand away and held it within both of his, carefully, examining it like a treasure which it was. He brought it up to the light. “I missed your hand.”
“Just my hand?”
She’d dipped her head to see his face better. He shook his head. “No, not just your hand.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, keeping her hand close, as he inhaled her as if she were a perfume.
She laughed uncertainly. “Don’t tell me you missed the way I speak to you? Like a human being, rather than an acolyte?”
He raised an eyebrow. “No, I don’t miss that. Why would I miss someone who fails to give Gharb Havilah royalty the respect it deserves?”
“Ah, now there you’ve got it wrong. I respect Gharb Havilah royalty greatly. I just don’t respect stupidity.”
He huffed a half-laugh at her direct response. “Are you calling me stupid, Dr. Taylor?”
Her grin faded on her lips. “Not stupid. Never stupid, maybe misguided.” She searched his face, still with that strange, gentle expression she hadn’t seen before. “Lost, even,” she added.
The gentleness was immediately replaced by a frowning indignance. “You think I’m lost? Whatever gives you that idea? It is I who am king of this country where I have lived my whole life, among my family, among my people. Why on earth would you think I was lost?”
“Because you cling to rules and regulations and principles for dear life. If they slip from your grasp, where will you be? Adrift? Floundering? Out of control?”
He ground his teeth. “You are letting your imagination run away with you. My life is ordered because it is most efficient that way. I don’t expect you to understand this. Your life has always been lived in chaos.”
A look of regret passed over his face, and he opened his mouth to speak but shook his head instead. She slipped her hand out of his, and he didn’t try to stop her. He turned and called for a refill of his coffee.
“I thought you missed my honest speech,” she said quietly.
He glanced at her before holding up his cup to be refilled. “Only up to a point.”
“And that point being no further than you can accept. Not beyond your own understanding.”
“Enough!” he said. People looked around at his raised voice. His eyes closed briefly before nodding reassurance to those around him. “I’m not here to argue.”
“Tell me, Zavian, truthfully, why do you want me?”
“Is it not enough that Idowant you?”
“No.”
He frowned. “Not enough that a day hasn’t gone by since you left, without me dreaming of you, or imagining you, your kiss, your touch, you in my arms, in my bed?”
She swallowed and shook her head.
“Gabrielle! You cannot deny what we have.”