The nerves vanished and she smiled. “Yes, I’ve been giving it some thought.”
“Excellent,” he said between gritted teeth. “Sounds like you arrived here with an agenda. You’ve at least got one item ticked off it. Sex. Sorry, making love. Any action points I need to know about?”
She licked her lips. “Only…”
“Only?”
“Only when our next meeting will be.”
“Our next meeting. Our wedding, perhaps?”
Her face brightened. “Yes, it could be.”
His face grew darker. “No, it couldn’t,” he growled.
“But, Xander! Just think about it. It all makes sense.”
“Not to me it doesn’t. You’re thinking of marriage as you used to think of sex. Simple, uncomplicated copulating. You don’t believe that any more, do you?”
“No, of course not. You’ve shown me it’s much more.”
He took a step closer to her. “Then use that fierce, logical mind of yours, Ela, to explain to me what it is that makes it much more.”
She opened her mouth and then closed it again. Then she took a deep breath and tilted her chin stubbornly upward. “It’s how we feel, of course. Our feelings. If you need to know, Xander, then I’ll tell you. I love you. There, I said it. I didn’t mention it before because I thought it might be unacceptable to you.”
It was his turn to be silent. That one word could always shut him up. Love. He hadn’t, for one minute, imagined she’d say she loved him, because he didn’t believe she did. But he didn’t doubt her because one thing about Ela, she rarely lied and she always said what she truly believed, even if it sometimes sounded cold and bizarre.
“You love me,” he managed to whisper, as if he’d been winded by her declaration.
“Yes,” she said, her brow creased as if she were about to cry.
Images flashed through his mind of all those people he’d loved and lost. Especially his parents and Selya. Losing them had changed his life. It had cut out his heart and Ela had replaced it. He was suddenly so full of emotion, he could do nothing but shake his head.
She took a step away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just that, slowly, bit by bit, you healed me, made me realize I could trust a man, and that I wasn’t my mother, and would never be. Just as you are nothing like any man I’ve ever known before. I trust you, Xander.”
“How much?”
She frowned. “How much do I trust you?”
He nodded.
“Completely.”
“Right.” He walked up to her, put his hands firmly around her waist, lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. She shrieked and made an oomph sound as if winded. At least the talking would stop.
He took her over to the bed and dropped her onto the silk covers which were already in disarray.
She struggled to sit up. He shook his head and lifted her robes. “You didn’t have time to dress completely then.”
“No, I—” She shrieked again as his fingers made contact with her sex, and she fell back onto the bed of her own volition. “I… was in a rush.”
He didn’t let up his exploration, lingering where he knew it would have effect. “Rushing is never a good thing, Ela.”
“No.” She sucked in air between her teeth, scrunched up her eyes and gripped the bedclothes. “No, you’re right. It’s not.”
She was trembling now, and wetter than he’d ever made her. “Now, you said you trusted me?”
She swallowed and nodded.