Not once duringthe ten minutes in which it took Elaheh to dress and gather her things, did Xander turn to her, or look her in the eye. He’d said his piece and she knew he’d meant it. He’d closed down their relationship before it had begun because of the past. But it was too late for her. Xander had changed her and there was no going back now. She wanted him, whether he loved her or not.
And, now, he was looking out, once more, over the oasis before them to the distant horizon. She understood it was easier than facing his pain. Her eyes were drawn to the planes of his face, shaded by the low sun which filtered through the trees. A few weeks ago she would look upon that arrogant, handsome face, and become incensed. There were traces of that still, but now, with their increasing intimacy, something had changed deep inside of her. And now when she looked at him she felt something entirely different. She struggled to find the word that would describe it. The one word she kept coming back to was “dear”. His face was dear to her now. She turned away suddenly as the realization slammed into her that she had fallen for him. She swallowed.
“Xander,” she finally said. “Before we go, I must ask you one thing.”
“Yes?” he asked briefly.
“You say you will never love again, but you will still marry, won’t you? To someone you don’t love, maybe. But you will still marry?”
“Of course”, he said.
“Then, maybe,” she said with her usual emphatic delivery, “we could—” He held up his hand to stop her from talking. But there was no need, her confidence had instantly waned at the expression on his face.
“I think we should leave this place. Now,” he said in a cold, authoritative voice. “There’s nothing to be gained by staying. We’ve done what we were going to do.”
She gripped her stomach where the pain of his words had landed but he wasn’t aware; he didn’t turn around. If he’d slapped her around the face she didn’t think she could have felt more hurt. And, what did she do when she was hurt? Retreat into coldness, just as he’d done, just as she should have done earlier.
“Of course.”
“We’ll return to Sharq Havilah where you can stay until we identity the man who threatened you. It should only be a few days. The last report was promising. We’re homing in on him.”
“I won’t be returning to Sharq Havilah. As you say, the threat is almost past. I’ve run away and hidden long enough. I am queen and I will return to my country from here.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, suddenly feeling very sure. “Yes. I no longer feel afraid.”
“Because we’ve nearly caught the perpetrator?”
No, she thought, but didn’t say. Because you’ve taken away my fears of men. Because I’m whole again. “Yes, exactly that,” she lied.
“Right. I’ll leave some of my men here to escort you back to the palace.”
She nodded, although she had no intention of allowing them to do so. She had her own plans.
It wasn’t long before Xander was on his way. They hadn’t spoken again, and she didn’t watch him leave. It would have been too painful. Instead, she simply waited. And, when she judged he was long gone, she picked up her phone.
Message after message from her vizier filled the screen. He, at least, was faithful. He was her way forward. She didn’t hesitate this time, but pressed the button and spoke her instructions clearly to him.
Chapter 10
Elaheh had dismissed the remaining guards as soon as she knew her vizier was on his way to collect her. With every minute that Xander had gone, her anger had grown—anger that she’d let her guard down and allowed Xander into her heart. Anger that he had rejected it.
She hadn’t even known shehada heart until Xander had made it his mission to help her. Help her! As if she needed help. She caught her breath as she watched the dust which signaled the departure of Xander and his men, fade.
She turned away. But, of course, she had needed help. And he’d done just that—helped her come to terms with what had happened to her, what had changed the course of her life so many years ago. He’d made her into a new woman who could look forward to a future like any other woman could have.
But, in the process, he’d stolen her heart and tossed it back to her, unwanted, open and hurting.
Her future would have to be faced without Xander by her side, or in her bed. It felt like a long empty gray road to be endured rather than properly lived. At least before Xander had awoken her heart, her life had been filled and made meaningful through duty. But now duty faded into insignificance beside the love which Xander had awoken in her.
Her feelings of utter despair were suddenly arrested by the sound of an engine coming from the other direction. It would be her vizier, come to collect her. She might be alone, but she could be queen to the country she was born to rule, and she could marry and bear children to continue her family’s long, proud rule. It still didn’t feel enough, but it would. She’d make it work. She was Queen of Tawazun and shewouldmake it work.And, she thought, if I say it enough to myself, I might just begin to believe it.
As the Range Rover approached, Elaheh focused on the bear-like man who was her vizier. He was the son of her father’s vizier but was nothing like his father, who’d been obsequious. Abzari was a proud man and had been a good advisor to her. He’d been alone amongst her advisors in agreeing with her that she shouldn’t marry too soon. He’d always supported her and would protect her in these last few hours until the man was found who’d written the threatening letters. Xander, himself, had said that they should know by the end of the day. By the time she’d reached her country and palace all would be out in the open and she’d be safe. Alone, maybe, but safe.
“Your Highness,” the vizier greeted her.
“Abzari,” she said, pleased to see his familiar face after a week away. “It’s good to see you.”