‘You think these last few days have meant nothing?’
He stood very still.
‘I know you, Roman,’ she said. ‘I know you in a way that’s—’
‘Sexual.’
‘Far deeper than that.’
‘You said yourself—more than once—that this is superficial.’ He shut her down. ‘This is sexual chemistry that inadvertently created a long-term problem.’
‘Awhat?’ All the emotions escaped, especially rage. Because this rejection hurt. It was as if she’d been thrust into another reality from the one in which she’d lived these last few days. ‘We are so much more.’ She pushed back. ‘We could be everything.’
But maybe she was wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time. Her family had always chuckled when she’d got ‘the wrong end of the stick’. Maybe she’d read all kinds of things into something that really was simply sexual chemistry. But her emotions had spilled over now and she couldn’t pull it back together.
‘I’m scared too, Roman,’ she said softly. ‘The truth is, I’m terrified. Of not being there for this baby. Of wanting you for ever when for ever can never be guaranteed. We both know that so deeply. But I’m willing, I want to try. I want to fight. This is worth it, Roman.You’reworth it.’
‘I don’t want that kind of relationship with you. I never will,’ he said flatly. ‘I’m sorry that our sleeping together complicated things for you.’ He was like a machine, stuck on a loop, and not going to concede an inch. ‘I’m not the person you want me to be.’
‘And what do you intend to be for our baby? A father or a financial institution?’
He flinched and closed his eyes. And when he opened them, all her hope died.
‘I know this isn’t easy,’ he said grimly. ‘But at least we’ve cleared the situation.’
Cleared the situation? The man had gone for the nuclear option and she felt burned alive.
He paused in the doorway on his way out. ‘Violet, you know if you leave, I’ll track you down.’
In the distance, she heard the approach of the helicopter coming to take him away. ‘You really do always believe the worst will happen. You can’t believe someone would stay for you. Well,I’mgoing to stay. I have the courage both to compromise and admit how I’m really feeling. I’m going to be honest now, Roman. I’m always going to be honest. Even if you can’t be.’
She pushed away from the counter and walked towards him. ‘So, here’s the truth—I am here for you. I know you don’t want that. Hell, you probably don’t even believe me. But it’s true, and I’m only saying this the once. So don’t worry, I won’t embarrass you by expressing my unwanted feelings towards you again. I won’t continue to throw myself against the brick wall of yourfear. I’ll get over you, and I’m going to live. That means taking chances—and I’m taking this one last chance with you. So, here it is—I love you, Roman. I’ve fallen in love with you, okay?’
He stood still, silent, then turned away.
And it wasn’t okay.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Boxing Day
ROMANGRIMLYWAITEDat the front desk. Every second dragged his tension tighter. Alex had messaged him the address but the reality still shocked. Ahostel. Not even a halfway decent hostel. He dreaded to think what her life had been like these past two decades with those...abductors? Guilt sluiced through him—followed fast by acidic doubt. Was itreallygoing to be her? The guy behind the desk was shooting him some wary side-eye but Roman couldn’t scrub the glower from his face. Even in his heavy wool coat he felt cold, sick and angry. But then his spine prickled and he swung round.
Emotion roiled to the surface. Ithadto be her. He made himself move. She’d frozen to the spot and was growing paler by the second—a brunette with startling blue eyes. But he couldn’t trust that colourful patch that matched his. That had been faked once before. But the DNA test couldn’t be faked. Alex wouldn’t put Roman in this position if he didn’t really believe this woman was Eloise.
Besides, this time there was more. Roman’s instincts flooded, rendering his brain redundant. She was the spitting image of his grandmother. A colour replica of the old black and white photo of Joan that was in his private lounge at the lodge. The one that had never been published. The one he’d glanced at the other night with...
He gritted his teeth.Not Violet. Not now.He couldn’t think about anything beyond what was in front of him. One issue at a time. He was the king of compartmentalisation. He’d worked for years to focus on the current priority. Admittedly, that was usually work, but right now it was...
‘Eloise.’His voice hardly worked. ‘You look just like Grandma Joan.’
‘I’m Ellie,’ she answered in a strained but strong Scottish-accented voice. ‘Eleanor MacGregor.’
He stared, scared that if he blinked she’d vanish again. He’d blinked all those years ago and she’d been there one moment, gone the next. Those memories flashed then—the ones he’d not been able to trust. The ones he’d hated. The darkness. Surely it was impossible that she stood before him now? That this stranger was his sister? She was obviously as thrown by the idea as he was. Wariness, defensiveness,hurthad bloomed in her expression as she corrected him.
‘Of course,’ he murmured. ‘I’m Roman.’
‘I know, I recognised you.’