Mum hugged me tighter and let me weep. Eventually, hiccuping and forcing my words out through my broken sobs, I answered. “I’ve loved him for so long. Why does this keep happening? Every time I get close to someone, they hurt me. What am I doing wrong, Mum? Am I too much for people?”
“Now listen here, Frankie Hill. You don’t get to blame yourself to explain other people’s behavior and you don’t ever have to diminish your light in the world to make someone else feel better about themselves. You are perfect, sweet girl. Everything about you is perfect. It’s them. They’re the idiots. You did nothing. Do you hear me?”
I wiped away my tears. “Yes, but what do I do now? I feel like my heart’s been destroyed. I loved him so much and everything he told me was a lie.”
“You stay here, and you let me and your dad take care of you. You let us remind you how special and loved you are and help you heal some of that hurt. I can’t change Matt’s behavior, but I can work some mum magic until it’s less painful.”
I burst into tears again and she stroked my hair, shouting at Dad to get the good ice cream out of the freezer for me.
The next few weeks were a mix of family fun and heartache. I loved spending time with Tanner, Mav, and my folks. Mum cooked all our favorite foods, we played board games, my dad set up the fire pit each night, and we drank hot chocolate under the stars, but all the while I wondered about Matt.
I thought about what he was doing, whether he was with his wife, whether anything he’d said to me was real. It had felt real. I’d believed every word that spilled from his lips. But maybe he’d just been a really good liar.
Every time I saw one of our other security team outside the house, I felt a pang of sadness that he wasn’t here. No one had said it, but I knew Addi or Tanner had made him stay with Grayson, so I didn’t have to see him.
“I don’t know why we haven’t just sacked him,” I complained to Tanner as we packed to go stay in a London hotel for a few nights while we did a press party. The Cosmic Gods autobiography Emmy had written had been a number one bestseller for months and the publisher and record label were throwing us a party. None of us wanted to go, but as usual, we didn’t have a say in our schedule, even though we were supposed to be having time away from the band.
“Because he’s really good at his job. Just because you fucked him and it didn’t work out, we can’t sack him,” Tanner bit back.
“He lied about being married.”
“Have you spoken to him since that day? Let him explain? Given him a chance to tell you why he had a wedding ring hidden in his safe and how it managed to find its way into our locked penthouse or your suite?”
“What?” I asked, my brows furrowed as I stared at my brother, wondering why he sounded so annoyed with me, even though it was Matt who was in the wrong in all this.
“You heard me? Someone stole it from his room and managed to get it into yours. Did you know that?”
“Well, no. I’ve not spoken to him. He lied. He has a wife. I didn’t think we had anything to talk about,” I reminded Tanner, frustratedly.
“Frankie,” Tanner sighed, wrapping his arms around me. “It’s been weeks and you’ve not even given the man a chance to explain. You should listen to him. You owe him that.”
“What do you know, Tan?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
“Look, some stories aren’t for sharing. Well, not by me, anyway.”
“There’s no reason on earth for him to not mention he was married, Tan. Now, are you ready ‘cause the cars here?.”
“Rogue?” Matt’s voice echoed through the open door of the penthouse suite I’d just moved into for the next few nights. His proximity made my skin tingle as the familiar timber of his voice settled into me like a comfort blanket. “Can I come in?”
“If you have to.” I stood from the sofa, moving to the far side of the room. He walked in and the sight of him stole the air from my lungs.
“You look… I’ve missed you,” he said as his eyes raked over my body.
“Fuck you, Matt. You don’t get to talk to me like that anymore. What do you want?”
“I wanted to clear the air. We have to work together. I don’t want to make everyone else feel uncomfortable.”
I let out a rather manic sounding laugh. “Of course not. We wouldn’t want to make anyone else feel uncomfortable, would we? Never mind how I might be feeling knowing I’ve been fucking a married man who I’ve been in love with for years. But hey, as long as everyone else has their feelings spared, right?”
Matt braced both his thick, corded arms behind his neck, looking broken. “Jesus, Rogue, that’s not what I meant, and you know it. I just don’t want to make a bigger deal of this than it already is.”
“A bigger deal than it is?” I screamed. “You fucking lying piece of shit!” The rage I felt towards him boiled over until I saw red. Without realizing what I was doing, I ran at him, my hand raised, swinging it towards him, but before I could make contact with his smug face, he grabbed my wrist.
“What the hell, Rogue?”