We’d driven for about fifteen minutes, and he still hadn’t said a word.
“Nothing happened,” I whispered, turning to look at him.
“It’s none of my business, Rogue.”
Is he serious right now?
“The fuck it isn’t. What were all those messages for if it’s none of your business?”
“I was doing my job.”
“Well then, you’re sacked. Effective immediately.”
“You can’t sack me, Frankie. I don’t work for you.”
I rolled my eyes. “I can’t sack you, I can’t fuck you, I can’t fuck other people. I really did get the short end of this deal, didn’t I? WhatcanI do, Matt?”
“You can stop being a brat.”
I let out an annoyed groan. “And you can stop being a mind fuck. Those messages tonight weren’t from a bodyguard. They were from a jealous boyfriend, but I don’t get any of the benefits of the jealous boyfriend. I don’t get him claiming me. I don’t get him fucking me into the middle of next week. I don’t get the bruises on my body from where he grabbed me hard because he couldn’t get enough of me.”
Matt cursed quietly, staring out of the window as he fisted his jeans while I spoke.
“I don’t get to wake up with his cum drying on my thighs or his hard cock filling me again. I get a man tied to a past he won’t explain, afraid to be with me, but not letting me with anyone else. How is that fair, Matt?”
“Rogue…” he begged.
I was on a roll now, letting everything I’d been feeling flow from my lips without a second thought. “No, don’tRogueme. I’m tired. Tired of listening to everyone else. Tired of being the good girl. Tired of letting everything I want stay just out of reach.” I grabbed his jaw, pulling hard, so he was forced to look at me. And I didn’t let go.
“I can’t do this with you anymore. I can’t be your friend, Matt, because I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for a really long time. Probably since I first met you. There was nothing between me and Devon tonight. I left because being around him made me feel physically ill.” I pressed my other hand to Matt’s chest. “I wanted you. I want you. I get that you think you can’t be with me. That your past has you so tied up that you can’t break free, and I can’t help you with that. But I can’t keep doing this dance we’re doing.”
I paused, releasing my grip on his jaw. I ran my hand through Matt’s beard, trying not to notice the wide eye look he was giving me as if I’d lost my mind. “Every hug you give me, every time you rub my back, every time you end up in my arms, I wonder if this will be it. If tonight will be the night that I get to be with you.” My chest heaved as my emotions spilled out. I knew I’d regret it later, but right now, I needed to tell him exactly how I was feeling. No more hiding. No more playing safe, because it was eating me alive.
“It’s killing me. You’re killing me. You have a choice. Choose me. Tell me you want me. That I’m all you want. Or step back and let me get on with my life. I can’t keep waiting, hoping that I’ll be enough for you. I love you, Matt. What you do with that is up to you.”
The car stopped and the privacy screen lowered. “Frankie, we’re here,” Len announced.
The hotel doorman opened the car door, helping me out. Matt climbed out behind me, his face blank as he followed me inside. He didn’t say a word as we stepped into the elevator. He just stood in front of me in that security stance he did so well. Wide, solid, protective, expressionless while my heart beat in my chest like a trapped bird trying to escape.
When the lift pinged into the penthouse he stepped out, letting me pass, but he still didn’t say a word. I noticed a note from Addi on the side telling us she was meeting a friend for dinner and not to wait up, but she’d be back before ourlazy assesgot up in the morning. I couldn’t remember the last I had the entire penthouse to myself, but all I wanted to do right now was get this dress off and crawl into bed to hide from the world.
Walking to my suite, I opened the door, flicked on the lights, and then closed it behind me, trying not to let tears leak from my eyes.Why did I tell him I love him?Stepping into the bathroom, I wiped off my make up and removed my jewelry, before heading back into the living area of the suite. Suddenly, the door flew open, the force so great it slammed off the wall, making me scream in shock.
Matt
Iwaslostforwords listening to her lay into me. Harsh, brutally honest, and so raw it hurt to listen. I’d left her balanced on the broken shards of my emotions, and I deserved her anger.
And then she admitted she loved me and I wondered if the world would stop turning or if I’d see the stars falling from the sky because I’d obviously slipped into some kind of alternative universe.
She loved me.
I loved her.
And now I had a choice. All of her. Or none of her. And I didn’t think I wanted to live in a world where I didn’t get any of her. After typing out a quick text to Eli to make sure everything was okay with the boys, I walked towards her suite, trying to decide if I could do this. Be the man she wanted. The man she deserved. Right now, I was punishing myself becauseIdeserved it, but that meant I was punishing her too and she deserved so much more than that. She deserved the universe.
Throwing open the door, I stepped inside just as she was walking out of the bathroom, having taken off her makeup, looking more beautiful than ever.
“What the hell, Matt?” she screamed in surprise.