1
TANNER
Water wraps itself around my limbs. It’s cold and dark beneath the surface of the lake, and quiet. The jittery, fractured sensations in my head disappear when I’m down here. I need to come up for breath—I’ve been under for too long—but I don’t want to feel the harsh night air in my lungs. I don’t want reality to come rushing back.
Since the second jump, when I hopped into Sam’s head and found him inSpine, I’ve been struggling to hold it together. The guys know it. Nova suspects it. But I keep on telling them I’m okay. I’m good. I’ll be fine.
Am I fine? No. I’m not.
Having Sam close doesn’t help. Sometimes, when he’s near me, it’s almost impossible to keep his emotions out of my head. Like, because I was inside him, the wall between us is more fragile than the wall between me and the others.
Sometimes, letting myself feel what he’s feeling is intoxicating. Like when he touched Nova for the first time, and when he was inside her for the first time. Then… well, fuck, it was incredible. But other times, even when he looks okay on the outside, a darkness scratches at his core. We’ve all survived a lot of bad shit, but Sam’s story is worse. Much worse.
Physically, emotionally, Sam has spent his whole life in pain. Nova’s presence is healing him, but the pain is still there. Perhaps that’s why he reminds me of myself. A distant version of myself. The way I was when Kole and the others first found me.
My chest is tight now. About to burst. I push my arms down by my sides and torpedo back up to the light. When I reach the surface, I flick my head back and send an arc of water into the lake. The droplets glimmer in the moonlight.
Kole is waiting for me on the jetty. His long, thick legs are dangling over the side. His boots are next to him, feet in the water. It’s an oddly casual pose; he spends most of his time brooding with his arms folded.
When he sees me, he draws his legs back and pulls on his socks. “Don’t know how you’re still alive after swimming in there. It’s freezing,” he says, offering me a hand and pulling me up beside him.
Standing with my crotch at the level of his chin, I shake my arms, purposefully spraying him with water. His eyes flicker a little as he appreciates my wet torso. But then he stands too and says, “It’s time. Nearly midnight.”
I pick up my towel and rub it over my hair and face. The moon is bright, but clouds are coming in. That’s good; we’ll need its cover once we’re out of the woods.
“Sure you want to do this?” I ask, wrapping the towel around my waist as we head back to the cabin.
“We need to know what’s going on in town.” Kole unfastens his hair and lets it hang loose over his shoulders. He fiddles with the band, slides it onto his wrist, then reties his hair again. “And something’s not right about this…” He stops and looks up. When the light touches it, the mask we cast over the cabin quivers like water.
“You think the Bureau should have found us by now?” I ask him.
“They made a show of scouring the woods, but they stopped before they got anywhere near the mask.” He lowers his voice as we approach the cabin. “Plus, a spell this powerful? They should be able to detect its energy. The fact they’re not trying to break through means something else is going on.”
“Mack agrees?” I pad up the steps toward the veranda.
Kole nods. “And Luther. They’re worried the Bureauwantsus here. Out of the way.”
“Why would they—”
“I don’t know.” Kole opens the door and steps aside for me to walk through it. “Hopefully going back into Phoenix Falls will answer that question.”
* * *
Inside,we change into dark pants and sweatshirts. Nova watches us from the bed. She’s wearing a forest green sweater that makes her eyes look tantalizingly bright. She bites her lower lip, looks as if she’s about to say something, then decides not to.
Walking over to her, Kole slips his hand to the back of her neck. His thumb brushes the bruise his teeth left on her skin. Their eyes meet. A wave of lust hits me. It’s radiating from them like heat from the sun. I watch as Kole dips his head and kisses her. Slowly, deeply, like he wants her to remember every second of it.
Arousal settles in my core. I clear my throat and they look round at me. “As much as I wish we had time for a goodbye party,” I say, putting my hands into my pockets, “we need to be in town by three a.m. if we want to make the most of the quiet hours before sunrise.”
Kole nods, pinches Nova’s earlobe lightly between his thumb and forefinger, then heads for the stairs. “Meet you outside,” he says to me before he disappears.
“You’re sure we don’t have time for a goodbye party?” Nova opens her legs and I slot myself between them. She hooks them around the backs of my knees, nudging me closer.
Sweeping her hair from her shoulders, I kiss her forehead. “You have no idea how much I wish we did.”
She laughs and raises her eyebrows, glancing down at the slight bulge in my pants.
“Okay, maybe you do have an idea.” I pull her to her feet, wrap my arms around her waist, and kiss the spot where her jaw becomes her throat. When I look at her, my chest tightens. “I love you. You know that, right?”