“Of course, it is. He’s in love with you. He just too fucking pig-headed to admit it.” I wipe my eyes and shake my head. “Which explains why he was so mad at me for suggesting you come with me to speak to Annalise.”
“In love with me?” Nova tuts. “No. He’s not. Sure, he’ll throw me up against a wall but—”
“Against a wall?” Something tugs at my chest. Jealousy? No. It can’t be. I don’t feel jealous when I watch her with the others. I feel safe. Home. Like that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Nova nods.
Looking at her, wide eyed and small in Kole’s giant hoodie, I have the urge to pull her close and never let go. I want to kiss her. I want to lie her down, out here in the open, and kiss every inch of her.
Instead, I stand up and offer her my hand. When she stands too, she narrows her eyes at me. “Are you mad?”
“No.”
“But you’re something? Jealous?” She hops in front of me. “Are you jealous, Daddy?”
“No, I’m not jealous.” Fuck, I can hardly resist her when she calls me that.
After a pause, as we start walking, she says, “You think Luther’s in love with me?”
“Yes, I do.”
“And you think he’s being pig-headed for not admitting it?”
“Stubborn is Luther’s middle name,” I say, shoving my hands into my pockets.
“What about you?” Nova stops walking. I turn back to look at her. Her hands are on her hips.
“Me?”
“You haven’t told me howyoufeel about me.” She steps closer, closing the gap between us. In a husky tone, she says, “You won’t even let yourself fuck me.”
“Nova—”
“Why are you still holding back?” She puts her hand on my hip, then slowly moves it to the front of my pants. As she applies pressure, I swell into her hand. “Why won’t you give in when you want it so badly?”
I catch her hand with mine. “It’s just a line I can’t cross, Nova.” I step away from her. “I’m sorry.” I start walking back toward the cabin. “I just can’t.”
“You’ll do all that other stuff, but you won’t fuck me?” Nova darts in front of me. “Mack, that’s ridiculous.”
“It’s for your own good,” I tell her.
For a moment, I think she’s going to challenge me further but the fire fades from her eyes. The dejection that replaces it as she slips her hand into mine is worse. It almost breaks my heart. Snow growls at me.You know I’m right, I tell him silently.You know I’ll only hurt her.
Snow doesn’t reply.
11
NOVA
While we wait for Rev to arrive with our things, I find Tanner and Sam. The three of us play cards and they’re doing a good job of trying to stay cheerful, but they can tell something’s wrong. After my bathroom moment with Luther, and what happened on the jetty with Mack, my brain is fizzing. Except, not in a good way.
Having sex with Luther was incredibly hot. Both literally and figuratively. But I have no idea where it leaves us or what it meant.
Hearing Mack open up to me a little was what I thought I needed from him, but when he said he’d never crossthatline with me—never actually allow himself to be inside me—I was filled with such sadness I could barely breathe.
Tanner told me once that Mack deserves happiness. The problem is, I don’t think Mack feels the same. He carries the guilt of his sister’s death like a heavy weight around his neck, and I don’t know how to convince him that she wouldn’t want him to be so sad. So alone.
I know I wouldn’t. If it was Sam, I wouldn’t want him to be alone.