“Not maybe. Definitely. I might have even gone on a date with this Marco.”
That got my attention. “It's the same, in a way,” I said, thinking about it. “You. Them. I can’t outrun my past.”
“No. But that doesn’t mean you have to live in it.”
We were quiet, Rae’s words penetrating in a way that hadn’t before even though every one of my siblings had said as much at one time or another.
“You were serious, what you said? At dinner?”
I looked from the lake to my beautiful companion. Not a date. She’d made that clear. Rae was watching me closely.
“I’m a lot of things Rae. But a liar isn’t one of them.”
She frowned. “You've been with so many women. I saw you just the other night. It’s just...really hard to believe.”
“You saw me on a last date with a woman I’d liked well enough until that night. Or until you snuck into my brewery for the first time.”
She smiled. “I did not sneak.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Maybe I did.”
Forging ahead, I gave her another truth. “It would be really hard to go out on a date with anyone right now.”
“Because?”
“Because it would be you I’d be imagining instead.”
For a second, I thought Rae would give into something she clearly wanted. Instead, she clammed up. “We should probably get going.”
I stood too. But didn’t move to leave seeing as Rae hadn’t either. I told her I wouldn’t touch her, and I wouldn’t.
Even if I wanted to really fucking badly.
“I’ve had my heart broken by guys like you, Marco. It really sucks.”
“Want me to break their kneecaps?”
I loved her laugh. “No. I just don’t want to be a notch—”
“On my bedpost. Newsflash, Rae. I don’t even have bedposts. It’s more like a...I don’t know...headboard.”
She tried so hard to stop smiling. A full moon lit her face, and I could see every feature. There was even a freckle or two I’d never noticed.
“I shouldn’t have come.”
“No, probably not.”
“And definitely should have gotten back into the car after dinner.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Her lips parted. I thought of this morning, of my thumb in her mouth for way too short a time. “I won’t break your heart with one kiss.”
Never had I wanted to kiss a woman this much.
Never.