“Which reminds me,” he says with a quick glance around. He drops his volume. “Flynn mentioned he spoke to you about how to move forward now that you’ve won this first Belini case. Very impressive, by the way.”
“Mayor, I hope you’re not about to reiterate what Flynn said. I’m more than capable of remembering.”
He titters out a soft laugh. “You’re extra feisty with the champagne, Delphine. Just consider a more... cautious approach. That is all I ask. I look forward to your speech this evening.”
I watch him waddle off to his next destination in the banquet room. He stops at the table where some of the children from the Fuel the Child charity sit.
To my surprise, Brenda’s mood sours. “I can’t believe he’s lasted as mayor this long.”
“The citizens like what’s familiar. That’s how he keeps getting reelected.”
“He has a lot of nerve being here tonight of all events.”
Brenda excuses herself without another word, disappearing into the crowd. I’m secretly relieved to be left alone. I swap out my empty glass for a fresh one the second another server passes me by. If I’m low-key enough, I can sneak out right after my speech.
The event officially begins with the charity coordinator taking the stage and welcoming everyone. The lights in the cavernous room dim, only the stage lights shining brightly onto him.
I’m toward the back, concealed by the crowd up ahead. Normally, I’d be toward the front with the other elected officials and prominent leadership of the city. They’re probably looking for me. I’m supposed to be giving a speech in a few minutes.
Yet I can’t bring myself to care much. I wander away clutching my champagne, sneaking out of the banquet hall. I can walk out the building right now and hope no one sees me.
I’ll figure out something to tell Brenda and the others tomorrow.
At the last second, I get cold feet and pivot down the opposite hall. I don’t know why I keep walking, but it’s like my brain’s too foggy to decide on a destination, so I walk until I find one. I chug my fourth glass of champagne in a single gulp and ditch the flute on a window ledge.
Other than the occasional glass of wine in the evening, I’ve never been a big drinker. I’ve never had a high tolerance, even during my university days. Tonight’s no different as the champagne’s effects wash over me.
I wander into the stairwell and climb a couple staircases, tipsiness making me unsteady and dazed. Somehow, I find my way to the rooftop, greeted by the chilly autumn air. It sobers me up even if just a little.
I stop at the ledge and stare down at the city traffic below. The steady flow of the cars is hypnotic, their white headlights and red brake lights flashing. For a while, it distracts me, but as seconds go by, the terrifying reality sinks in.
What have I done?
I’ve shirked my duties. I’ve missed networking opportunities. I’ve drank so much my head is spinning. And now I’ve run off to the rooftop.
How could I let myself be so foolish at such a public event? I have a speech to give!
My face drops into my hands. Inside my chest, my heart drums faster the more panic spreads.
I’ve fucked up.
Brenda’s probably freaking out as my scheduled speech draws near. How obvious was it downstairs that I was drinking too much? Had I slurred or swayed or showed other signs I wasn’t myself?
I don’t remember doing any of that, but how can I be sure? I can barely stand straight without the ground feeling like it’s moving under me.
Tears wet my eyes. I’ve worked so hard for so many years, and here I am destroying everything because I can’t get my shit together. Because I’m letting some attack overtake my life.
Because I can’t stop being weak.
People are mugged and assaulted every day all across the city. What happened to me was like the lottery. My number had simply come up.
I’m not pregnant and I didn’t contract anything.
I’m fine. Stop crying.
I wipe at my eyes and suck in a shaky breath. The wind blows harder, causing me to sway left and then right. Down below, the toy-sized cars speed race to make the light before it turns red.
I wish I could be like them, running off to who knows where.