The thing is, this kind of thing is always like this for me. It usually concludes with frustration instead of ecstasy. And when I’m with someone else, it’s not much different. I’m just too in my head. It’s just a problem I’ve always had. I’m orgasmless. I always have been. I’ll never know what all the hype is about in romance novels.
Maybe I should just give up now...
I shake my head and try one more time to at least gethe who must not be thought ofout of my head. I pause for a second and realize the only way to do that is to think of something else.
Someoneelse.
The memory of how hard Ruin’s slick body felt pressed against mine in the cold ocean flickers in my mind. He carried my dripping wet body from the ocean and laid me down...
My hand roams down my chest and stomach, and goosebumps rise as my mind runs wild.
Flashes of his hard body covering mine catch my breath. My fingers dip down to the most sensitive part of my body, my lips parting wide with the idea of him using my mouth for his big—
“Pretty Monster?”
“Fuck!” I scream, and the silence that falls into the room is crushing.
I can physically hear Malace listening at the door. Thankfully, he says nothing.
“Um—I could feel you needed me. What—what exactly do you need?” Ruiner murmurs on a hushed, gravelly voice.
“Nothing! I—nothing. Nothing. I needed nothing.” The words stutter from my mouth as heat flashes across my face.
I’ve been naked in front of thousands of men. I’ve rocked my ass against their erections to the sound of an overplayed pop song and smiled coyly. I have never once,in my entire life, felt this level of self-conscious embarrassment.
“I can’t leave, Pretty Monster.”
“What?!” Go! Get out! Let me die alone of sexual embarrassment already!
“I—I know what’s going on here, but until your...urgesno longer require my help, I can’t leave you.”
My urges! Oh god! Make it stop! I feel like a fourteen-year-old boy right now having the worst conversation at the worst time with his mother.
“What do you mean, you can’t go!”
“There’s literally no exit down here. My magic is stalling tohelpyou. I can’t get out.”
“Use the fucking door like a goddamn normal person and get the fuck out!”
Mattress springs squeak loudly as he seems to shift around beneath me in the dark. Seconds tick by. And then there’s quiet.
“What if—what if I just helped you?”
“What!? No! The very last thing I need is—”
No man will ever make you feel as good as I could have.
A pause of dead silence passes. The man who has made my heart stupid for years is offering to—I can’t even think it. How will I ever have the nerve to ask my best friend anything of the sort?
“Bella,” his velvety voice rumbles across my name, and I swear, a squeak of nervousness just scurried out of me. “Do you want me to make you cum?” He says it so sensually, it floods my body with heat instantaneously. The lights are off, but my cheeks are on fucking fire.
And then I make the easiest choice of my entire life: “Yes.”
The entire bed shakes as dark magic I’ll never understand shifts right through it. Big hands push around my hips from behind. Delicious body heat sears into me as he comes through the mattress and wraps me up in his arms. He holds me, and I lie naked against him like it’s where I’ve always belonged.
“Should I—”
“Don’t think, Pretty Monster. Just let me take care of you.”