“You okay?” Ivy asks slowly, her pale brows tensing together.
Malace’s hands lie platonically on his thighs while I’m nuzzled right in within breathing distance of his cock.
Just let me die already. Let me die of embarrassment on this man’s dick and be done finally.
“I’m great. Thanks,” I clip out, trying not to let my lips graze his crotch.
“You’re surprisingly warm,” Malace says, distracting me even more. “I haven’t felt anything like this in... forever.”
My heart skips at the thought of that. This man’s a walking, talking poem come to life. I can’t handle it.
“So, Benton walked me to the class.”
“Aww that so nice,” I say to her through self-consciously tight lips that are most definitely not brushing against his fly.
“You’re pretty with your hair fanned out like this,” Malace adds, just fucking up my train of thought entirely.
I blink away his unheard input and focus on my sister’s gossip.
“He’s cute right?” she asks, and I desperately want to be the person she gossips to and confides in, but wow, today is just not the day. Tomorrow isn’t looking great either.
“So cute!”
“Would it be strange if I touched you?” Malace cuts in.
“Yeah! Yeah, it would be.”
“What?” Ivy asks.
“Right, sorry.” His fingers slide soundlessly into his palms, and it’s like he’s putting effort into keeping his hands to himself.
“He was waiting for me after class too,” Ivy tells me with a bit less enthusiasm and a lot more confusion regarding my state of crazy.
A real smile parts my lips though. She has never had a boyfriend. I hate that she’s finding a crush here, but I can’t say I’m surprised. Everyone here is captivating. They draw you in without even trying. They’re monstrous. But they’re beautiful too. The Kingdom of Carnal may be a cruel city, but it teaches you to love unconditionally.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful when you smile,” the rasping, whispering poem says.
“Stop,” I blurt.
“Oh. Sorry,” Ivy mumbles.
“No! I meant—”
“I’m not used to people hearing what I say. I’m incredibly sorry,” Malace adds.
“No. It’s fine. I—I meant stop holding back and tell me more!” I smile even harder at her, and it lights up Ivy’s features with her own happiness.
“I was so happy he was there, but then the king excused him.”
“Leavon?” I ask, anxiety ripping through me suddenly.
“Yeah, King Leavon said I did very well in my class this morning.”
“It’s literally just an orientation.” Everyone does great at a fucking orientation. You can’t fuck up an orientation. Why the hell is he focusing on her?
“Right. That’s what I said.” She blushes slightly, and I hate that I can’t just explain every twisted detail to her. “He’s very kind. He offered to tutor me privately when our physical training starts.”
Bile burns the back of my throat.