“Clearly. One time, that’s all it was. I swear.”
I gave my tummy a little rub.
He carved my name into the Styrofoam container and put a heart around it. “There’s something you need to know. Ever since that very first date, you’ve been the one I’ve given my heart to. You’ve always had it.”
I ran my fingers over the etched heart and stared into his face, smothered in gut wrenching honesty and concern.
“No one else can make me laugh the way you do, and no one else can destroy me like you did when you left.”
My heart broke just a little listening to his words.
“Cedar, you mean everything, and Jasmine means nothing. She never did. Even back in high school, when we were younger and even more stupid, she was just a way to pass time.”
“But you keep telling me she’s this amazing person.” Which she kind of was, I had to admit.
“And she is. When she accepted the turn in her future, she didn’t want to burden me with a baby. I honestly believe, if she hadn’t gotten the job offer to move stateside, I would’ve never found out. She knew we didn’t have a future together.”
“You never pictured one with us either.”
“That’s not true. You twisted my words a little bit. WhatI meant was, we were comfortable just being us. We didn’t need anything from the outside to make us better or stronger. I know that now, but I knew it then too.”
I stared off into the distance, watching as the sun dipped lower.
Mitch moved beside me and took my hands into his. “When you packed your bag and left, I was blindsided. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. I had big plans for our anniversary, and Jasmine’s arrival blew it all up.”
“Did it ever.”
“Although I won’t say I didn’t enjoy the table sex,” he leaned closer, “or the park sex, but I know now it was a distraction.” His eyes crinkled with a grin.
“What?”
“I just needed the clarity to see it. You were jealous.”
I pulled my hands away as my eyes went large as saucers. “I was so not.”
That charming grin I’d fallen in love with all those years ago showed back on his face, throwing a lasso around my heart, and tugging me closer. “You were. A little. That there was a part of me out there with someone else.”
Well, that, maybe. Thinking about it caused a heat to sear my cheeks and highlight it to Mitch.
“When you packed in a hurry, something fell out of your drawer. At first, I picked it up and set it on the dresser, but it just kept calling out to me. It was light. But I had no idea what was inside.”
My breath caught in my throat as I waited for him to announce what he’d found and for him to start yelling or something.
“Everyday I stared at it, but I couldn’t bring myself to peek.”
My breath gusted out of me.
“I figured you’d maybe give it to me in time. When you were ready. When you’d gotten some clarity with the Jasmine situation.” There was an edge of hope in his voice and a warmth to his tone.
I crossed my legs and pulled back. “You see though, Jasmine isn’t a situation. You have a child with her. One that you never wanted.”
He shook his head. “Wanted is maybe the wrong word, expected is better. Jackson wasn’t expected. Of all the things I wanted in my life, I wasn’t ready for him. And Jasmine knows it too. But, like it or not, he’s my kid. Jackson has the same fingers as I do.”
My gaze fell to his hands. “How?”
“His finger is bent exactly like mine.” Mitch raised his hand and wiggled his pinky. When he stopped, it hung out to the side like it always had. It had never bothered me, just made him more unique, but I hadn’t realised it was a family trait. “She had it looked into shortly after his birth and they filled her in. All the males on the Macomber side have it. Jackson included.”
A long-winded breath breezed out, filling the serenity. “What now?”