“Let me stop you right thereand explain the phone call, before things get taken out of hand.” A grin pushed up the corners of his mouth, showing the hint of a dimple. “I trust you. I’ve let you in my house, and where I may have been a little hesitant about seeing us grow, I’ve mostly let you into my heart. And after all Jenna did to me, that’s a start. A huge start.” He sighed and cast his gaze down. “But I’m holding something back.”
As his shoulders rolled in, my heart ached.
“Jenna left and moved back to the city. Remember when I mentioned how she got what she wanted and left?”
I nodded, reflecting on the conversation in the diner. Something about her parents notliking him, and constantly asking if they were pregnant. My eyes widened at the thought, and I searched out Jesse’s. I didn’t want to presume a thing, so I waited.
“WhenJenna left, she was pregnant. She was ten weeks along when she moved into her parent’s basement, and she hadn’t yet told me. But her parents sure knew.” A lacing of vitriol weaved through his words. He shook his head. “She didn’t tell me until after her ultrasound when she found out the sex of our child. I wasn’t even there when she gave birth.”
I couldn’t imagine having a child I couldn’t seeall the time. The constant heartache that would cause would be unmeasurable. And I also couldn’t imagine taking the child away and not having a family. If I had gotten pregnant with Charlie’s baby, he’d know. At least I’d like to think I’d tell him.
“What do you have?”
A twinkle returned to light up his eyes. “A daughter, Sarah. She’s eighteen months old and quite the chatty little one. Looks just like her mother.That’s who I was talking too.”
He pulled out his phone and when it faced me, there was a little cherub of a face with dark eyes and hair. I saw Jesse in her features, but then again, I had no idea what Jenna looked like.
“She’s cute, but I think she looks like you.”
He stared at his phone.“You think so?” It deepened the smile.
“I do.”
“Thatnight when I came across you on the highway, I was just coming home from seeing her. Jenna and I agreed she’s too young to spend the weekend away, so I go to her.”
I nodded, an intense dislike of his ex-wife forming in my gut. She maybe got all she wanted, but clearly, not ethically. “How often do you see Sarah?”
He stared at the picture before turning it off and pocketing it.“Not as often as I’d like, that’s for sure. But one weekend a month, I stay with friends and spend as much time with her. And I facetime Sarah all the time.”
“That’s great.”
He squeezed my hand.“I’m sorry I kept it from you. But how do you tell someone you have a child that doesn’t live with you? Even people around here don’t know.”
“I completely understand. Really, I get it.”And I did.
Already, because of his job, he was a bit of an odd duck, and to think he has a childwith the wife who hated this town. As I rolled the situation around in my head, his financial situation became even more clear. He likely paid a hefty parental support, which ate up his income, even though he didn’t get to be a full-time father. Sometimes the system wasn’t right.
“What about a job there?”
“I’ve thought about that, several times over. But thecost of living is much higher than here since this place is paid off. If I sold it, it still wouldn’t be enough to get a decent down payment on a place there. Even an apartment would eat away my income.”
Jenna really screwed him over and my heart went outto him. There had to be other options, however, I was sure Jesse had thought them all through.
“Well, someday when she’s older, I hope she’ll be here for the holidays, and you can do all the fun things with her that we did together.”
“That’s the dream.”
“It’ll happen.” I believed it and walked over to park myself between his legs when he turned to face me. My heart beat ultra fast as I hovered over him. Seeing the sadness on his face broke me a little, and I wanted to see that sweet smile and know I was responsible for putting it there. “I’m sorry things between you and Jenna didn’t work out.” I leaned my forearms on his strong shoulders. “But she lost out. Big time.” My fingertips swirled on the back of his neck and I inhaled his fresh scent. “However, you’re all mine to claim.” I brushed my lips over his, taunting and teasingly.
His mouth parted and I dove in, exploring and tasting,all the while giving my heart to this wonderful man. As his hands gripped tighter around my waist, I wanted more. More of Jesse. More of his kiss. I wanted to explore everything he’d give me. And it was something I could do. All my life, I’d never taken chances – on anything. But this?
“I need you, Jesse.”
“I need you too.”
The sweetest words I’d ever heard. How wonderful itfelt to be needed.
“I know it sounds crazy and risky, like wildly unsettled, but I’ve never been so sure of something in my life.” And that truth set me free. Suddenly my future didn’t seem so dismal and grey, picturing Jesse in it gave it life and colour.