We moved around the ice, and every once in a while, I flung myarms out for balance.
“You can hold my hand, if it helps?” He extended his mittened hand.
I stared with disbelief and excitement. It was a weird feeling, but I grasped his hand with a strong grip. A lap aroundwhile holding hands was nice. Too nice, and when I stopped to rest against a stack of hay bales, Jesse stood in front of me. His cheeks were red from the cool air, and his eyes had a warmth to them. There was a certain charm in his grin as his gaze danced over my face.
“You’re really something, youknow?”
But I didn’t. All my married life, it wasn’t something I knew. Charlie wasn’t forthcoming with compliments, and only in recent months had I tried to figure out what it was about him I’d been so drawn to originally. Over time, the looks had faded, mainly because his true personality took over. He wasn’t mean or anything, but he wasn’t a classifiable sweetheart either. He used to be a fun seven, but over time fell to a meh five or six on his better days.
And Jesse? In the short time I’d know him, hewas already a strong eight, maybe even a nine. He was…
I blinked and studied the man staring at me, wondering what those lips would taste like, and curious about how he kissed.Would they be strong or soft yet firm? Was he the type of kisser who could weaken my knees and light me on fire? I wanted to feel myself pressed into him, his arms wrapped around me, and have the world fade away. But I couldn’t. Wouldn’t.
It wasn’t … right? No, that’s wrong, because I hadn’t felt as comfortable with anyone as I have been with Jesse. Maybe it was the lack of knowledge to the outside world of my failings. Maybe it was shame that I couldn’t keep Charlie and I together, and no longer wanted to. The nagging doubt reminding me if I couldn’t make that work, how could I ever make something new work?
But those eyes of Jesse’s. They stared right into the depths of my soul. His head was tipped to the side and a shy grin tickled the left side of his lips, making it twitch. And I wanted to, wanted to give in to the racing pulse and the adrenaline coursing through me. I rolled in the side of my bottom lip, and heartbroken at my lack of courage, pushed away.
Even though I couldn’t, asmile crossed my face and my confidence blossomed from the way Jesse had raked me in. It had been too long since I’d felt like that, so bravely, I attempted to spin like Jesse had and tried skating backwards. Instead, my skates slipped out from under me, and my butt cracked against the surface of the ice. I tossed my head back in pain.
Jesse put hisskate in front of mine and offered a strong hand, pulling me up effortlessly, the light in his gaze shining as brightly as a star. His charm oozed and once again, an overpowering urge to kiss him consumed me.
“Should we take these off now?”
Stabbing painshot down my left leg reminding me I wasn’t in a Hallmark movie.
“Probably. I need to be able to walk my sister down the beach and give her away.”Like a child’s first time on skates, I shuffled towards the nearest bench. So much for romance and fun.
“You’re giving Lily away? That’s really cool.”
“I’m the only family she has left. Would be weird of Eric’sstep-dad to do it.”
“I suppose.” Jesse helped meonto the bench and bent down to untie my skates.
“Speaking of my sister, I have a plus one going unused. Interested?”
A long, hardened stare back responded to my invite as he bore into my soul. “And you don’t think that would help your sister jump to conclusions?”
He was right. If I didn’t tell my sister what was up in my life, it would look really suspicious to bring a stunningly handsome guy to a wedding who was not my ex-husband, even if I really wanted him there. To dance in his arms. To take in the surf. To walk in the moonlight. To be wild and carefree for the first time in my adult life.
I hung my head and sighed with relief as the skates slipped off.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I checked on the caller ID. “It’s Lily.” Jesse sat beside me while I answered. “Hey.”
“Hey, Mo. Listen, I have bad news.”
My eyes wentlarge, and my stomach tightened. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, nothing. Nothing major, really.” She was stalling. “Umm… the furnace guy was here to look at the, well, the furnace. He says the motor’s shot.”
“That happens all the time.”
“Yeah, well, this isn’tYVR.” Speaking in airport code was something I wasn’t used to. “He can’t get the part in until after Christmas, and maybe not even until the new year.”
“Oh?”
“So, we’re going to clear the couch and make things as comfy as possible.” There was hesitation in her voice, a reluctance asif my being a guest in her living room was more than just an inconvenience.
“Lil, don’t worry about it. I can get a motel here.”