Fin froze and looked at her, clearly confused. “Blaming you for what? Punishing you because you left me? I'm sorry about that, Chloe. I shouldn’t have. I know you walked away because you were grieving.”
“Blaming me for our son’s death,” she said quietly, dropping her gaze to the floor.
He said nothing.
Which hurt more than him admitting it out loud.
He didn't want to blame her because he still loved her, but hefelt how he felt—there was nothing he could do about it. He was still too angry with her. Like he’d told her before; he still loved her, but they just couldn’t be together.
“It’s okay, Fin. I blame myself, too. I was his mother. It was my job to protect him, to keep him safe, but I didn't. I put him in danger with my job. I didn't want to give it up because I was pregnant. I even wished that I wasn't. And then I got my wish. He died. I don’t deserve to be a mother. I'm sorry that I took your son from you. If I could take it back, I—”
“Stop!” Fin yelled.
Startled, her lips snapped closed, and she shrank away from him. He was angrier than she’d thought. Now that she was safe and he didn't have to worry about her, he couldn’t hide it.
“Why are you saying such ridiculous things?” He stalked over to her and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her roughly and causing pain to shoot through her injured arm.
“I'm sorry,” she said helplessly, unsure what else to say.
“Stop saying that. Stop apologizing to me. It’s my fault.” He released her and strode to the window, staring out it. “It’smyfault,” he said again, quieter this time.
Chloe didn't know what he was talking about. How could their baby’s death have been his fault? He wasn't even in the car when she had the accident.
“I should have driven you to work that day,” Fin continued. “You didn't like to drive in the rain. Maybe if I'd been driving, there wouldn’t have been an accident. But even if there was, I should have saved him. I'm a doctor. It’s my job to save people. But I failed him, and I failed you. I failed the two people I love the most.”
“No,” she said firmly. She went to him and wrapped her good arm around his waist, pressing herself against his stiff back. “It wasn't your fault, Fin. It wasn't.”
He turned around and gave her a sad smile. “It wasn't yours,either.”
“My head knows that’s true, but my heart still blames myself.”
His blue eyes crinkled in puzzlement. “Why would you blame yourself?”
“Are you really that stupid? Sorry, I don’t mean stupid, but are you?”
“I really don’t know why you would blame yourself. I was angry with you for leaving, but I never once blamed you for our son’s death.”
She wanted to believe that.
She really did.
“I thought you did.”
Fin wrapped his arms around her and drew her close against his chest, being careful to not put pressure on her broken arm. His arms around her were strong and secure, making her feel safe and protected and loved. “Because I treated you so badly. I'm so sorry, Chloe. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I'm asking for it.”
“I forgive you,” she said immediately. It was an easy forgiveness to give. The anger he had directed at her—for whatever reasons—still hurt, but you forgave the people you loved. “I'm sorry, too. For walking away instead of giving us the opportunity to grieve and heal together.”
He looked at her with an inscrutable expression for so long that she started to squirm. Then he stooped and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, then his lips hovered above hers, but he didn't kiss her. Instead, he said, “I forgive you.”
Now, he kissed her.
Long and deep and passionately, stealing her breath as it went on and on.
So much emotion passed between them. Love, forgiveness, understanding. They had shared the greatest loss a couple could and finally it had brought them back together.
Tears filled her eyes, and when Fin finally broke the kiss, she rested her head against his chest. “It was just an accident. We both need to accept it. If we keep feeling guilty, it’s going to tear us apart. We have to let go of the guilt. I just don’t know how.”
“We’ll help each other,” Fin promised.