“Thank you.” The gratitude in her green eyes made the lack of sleep more than worth it.
“Besides, I promised Sam I wouldn’t let Naomi out of my sight,” he joked.
“He’s so over-protective of her,” Rylla said a little wistfully.
“It’s Naomi, can you blame him?” Naomi was one of those people who seemed to attract trouble.
She gave a small chuckle. “No, I can't. And he loves her so much.”
A shadow of doubt flickered inside him. Rylla was a widow, she and her husband hadn’t broken up, they hadn’t gotten divorced, they hadn’t drifted apart. He had been taken from her. In one horrible moment she had lost him. But what about her feelings? Nate knew they hadn’t gone away, she still loved Joshua. The question was, was there any space left in her heart for him?
Rachel had taken his heart, ripped it out of his chest, and shredded it into millions of tiny pieces when she had taken his son away. Trusting his heart with another woman was a terrifying prospect. Even if that woman was Rylla.
Could he risk his heart to her only to let her break it?
Doubts were beginning to bubble up.
What if they started dating only for him to discover that she was still in love with her deceased husband and she couldn’t love him the same way?
What if they had children and she just walked out on him?
Mentally and emotionally he backed up a little. Rylla hadn’t spoken to him in over a year, he had tried apologizing before and she had refused to even listen. Now all of a sudden, she was listening to him, and talking to him, and kissing him, and letting him offer comfort. Now. When her sister had been abducted and she was scared. Was that all this sudden closeness between them was?
He had told her he was here for her, and he was, but maybe sticking with friendship was the better option.
It was certainly the safer one.
As hard as it was to accept, if Rylla’s husband hadn’t died then he wouldn’t be sitting here with her right now. He had to keep that in mind. He couldn’t let himself get carried away. Rylla needed comfort right now, she needed reassurance, she needed someone to help keep her mind off what might be happening to her sister. That could just as easily be any one of her friends as it could him.
“You really should go get some sleep.” He released her hands and stretched back in his chair.
Her brow furrowed at the sudden change in his tone and demeanor. “I don’t think I can. Every time I close my eyes I picture Mila, and the bodies of the Fairytale Killer’s victims.”
Nate ached to reach out to her, to pull her into his arms, to cradle her, to kiss her, to make love to her, to do whatever it took to soothe her even if momentarily. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t be with someone who was only with him because she needed a distraction. He couldn’t set himself up for disappointment and get his heart broken all over again. It hurt, but he had to do the right thing. For both of them.
“I'm going to doze in the chair for a bit,” he said, standing to dismiss her.
“You could come upstairs.” Rylla paused, drew in a deep breath, “And lie down with me for a while.”
His heart stuttered, and he wanted to throw caution to the wind and fall asleep with Rylla curled up in his arms. But needing comfort and falling in love were two different things. He was falling in love with Rylla, he had been for years now, she just needed someone to lean on while she battled her way through this hell she had been tossed into. Still, he didn't want to hurt her, so he threw her a smile—albeit a false one—and said, “I need to stay down here so I can keep an eye on Naomi.”
“Oh.” Rylla’s face fell, her cheeks pinked, and she flashed him a fake smile of her own. “Right. Okay. I guess I’ll see you in the morning?” She looked at him questioningly.
Clinging to every bit of self-restraint he possessed, Nate kept his smile in place. “Yeah, maybe, otherwise Sam and Naomi will be here.”
Her eyes grew watery, and she gave him a single nod, then turned and hurried up the stairs to her bedroom.
He’d made her cry.
While she was petrified her sister was about to be brutally murdered, he had made things worse by sending her mixed messages. Because he was afraid to get his heart broken, he had just crushed hers.
He was an idiot.
He should go to her. Explain. Hold her while she slept and keep her bad dreams at bay.
But he didn't.
He went and settled into the recliner beside the couch and watched Naomi sleep. She and Sam were so happy together, they loved each other so much, the kind of love that overcame everything else, that blasted away any obstacles that got in its path. He wanted that. He wanted it with Rylla. But he still had so many doubts.