If she’s anything like Tomás, she’d sniff out a lie and punish me for it. So I opt for diplomacy. “He’s generous.” I smile at her. “As are you. This dress is stunning. Are you sure you don’t mind lending it to me for the evening?”
Something dark powders her expression, instantly putting me on high alert. “My son has had numerous therapists and psychologists over the years. All of them were paid very well... yet none of them could fix him. And then you appear out of nowhere with the ability to reach right inside his mind. Tell me the truth, child. Do you like my son enough to kill for him?”
I freeze. My brows snap together. “Kill who?”
“Anyone.”
I blink at her. “I don’t understand?”
“The woman who deserves to stand beside my son knows the sacrifices she has to make. If you’re not born into this lifestyle, you’ll never understand. From where I’m standing, you’re the singular weak link in his armor. So when I ask if you like him, I’m simply trying to establish if it’s the power you enjoy or the man himself, because if he chooses you, we’ll all be at risk.”
I’m caught off-balance by her straight talking inquisition. She studies me with the eyes of a concerned mother and a stance of regal arrogance.
My heart trips up in my chest. “I’ve already told you; it was his decision to bring me here. He ordered, and I obeyed. I’m nothing more than a pawn in his real life game of chess.” I turn into her, my shoulders drawn back and my temper on a short leash. “Our situation is crystal clear. He won’tchooseme, whatever that means. It doesn’t matter how I feel about Tomás. Once we return to the city, I’m going back to my old life. Then we’ll never see each other again.”
Her eyes flare, green to black, as her appraisal of me comes to an end. “So you do have feelings for Tomás.”
I shrug lightly. “I’m grateful to him for the compassion he’s shown me, given the circumstances.”
She laughs darkly. “Compassion? That’s one word strangers would never associate with my eldest son.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her she’s wrong, that I’m not a stranger to him. That he’s had parts of me on his lips, so intimately it makes me blush to think about it. Despite that, arguing with his mother would be futile. I’m still a stranger to her. “Nonetheless, we’ll go our separate ways. Rest assured; I have no ulterior motive.”
“Oh child, you’ve misunderstood me. I want my son to finally find happiness. To have something I never had. But I can’t let him make a mistake when it jeopardizes our entire world.” She walks around me and moves to the tequila bottle, pouring a second measure just for her. “How would that little heart of yours react if he married another woman?”
I trace the old scar on my lip, inadvertently hiding a sudden twinge in my chest. “I... expect him to carry on with his life, as will I,” I reply vaguely. My mouth dries. “It’s inevitable. If he marries another woman... I... I’d be fine with it.” The lie slips out easily, disguising the whirlwind in my head.
I’m lost in a vision of Tomás with another woman, doing the wicked things we do together—fucking, touching, kissing. The hallucination replaying in my mind sickens me, without any justification for feeling that way. He claimed my virginity, not a future with him.
Of course, I’m attracted to him. Even his mother can see it. One touch from the man has my pulse thrumming and my insides all jittery and jelly-like. But on the surface, with his handgun and superior status, he’s not a good man. Besides, I don’t want to die young.
“Interesting.” Putty colored lips purse as her hand shelves above her hip bone. Peridot eyes narrow, her brow hitched with skepticism. “My Tomás is a strategist. He leads with his brain, not his heart. For you to be in our home means he sees value in you.” She wanders closer, reaches out, and lightly trails her nails through my hair, sending a shiver over my scalp. “You’re very attractive, with that same look in your eyes as him.” Her hand falls away as she sighs. “But you should know, sweet little girl... the man you think you know won’t put his heart on the line for you. He’s too damaged to accept love. He’ll always consider the tactical move as the right decision. He was raised with mafia finesse and cartel chaos. It’s that simple…” I wither inside, her truth crawling over me like dying spiders caught in a downpour. “Wear the dress this evening. You’ll look sensational in it.” Her lips half curl into a smile that almost portrays sadness. “One of the maids will apply your makeup. She’ll be here any minute.”
On cue, there’s a gentle tap on the door. “Come in, Natalia,” Teresa calls out, squeezing my wrist as if it should comfort me. She nods toward the velveteen stool in front of a tri-fold mirror with lights. “Take a seat, Carina.”
I shoot her an uncertain look, feeling helpless, like an insect caught in a Venus flytrap. “I don’t usually wear makeup.”
“You have youth on your side. A little mascara and eyeliner will suffice.”
When I’m seated, she disappears onto the terrace with a third shot of liquor and stays out there while Natalia works her magic. Coated in jet black, my lashes appear longer and thicker than before, and the winged eyeliner creates a feline illusion.
I barely recognize myself with the dusting of a shimmery bronzer on my cheekbones and hot barrel curls twisting over my shoulders in segments. But when I put on the dress, even the maid gasps.
The person staring back at me isn’t the tortured creature hiding in the shadows of a tragic past. She’s a woman who’s fallen for a dark knight in a lawless nightmare.
27
TOMÁS
“I expect your loyalty, without question.” I finish my speech and watch the suited men around the oval dining table nod. “My father might have fallen, but the Souzas are still on top.”
Matheus raises his glass. “To my brother, our leader, Tomás.”
The men echo his toast, each of them accepting my rightful place. It’s been a long day made even harder by the distance I’ve put between myself and my medicine, my glitch elixir. The woman I should set free before she rips out my thawing heart and takes it with her. I shudder, sensing her presence in my family home where deadly orders replaced kind conversations.
Shane grunts, his glass clinking with mine from the left. “Congratulations, cousin. You’re officially the king.”
His praise should give me a buzz, a thrill of success. Though it doesn’t. I haven't been able to replicate the high I get when I’m balls deep inside Carina. Not even this charge of power can resuscitate my soul like she can. “Thanks.” I smile tightly and throw back the Scotch.