Especially when I know she’s hiding something. Though, for the life of me, I can’t figure out what. Maddie is just too good at distracting me, intentionally or otherwise.
That damn noodle.
This is why I wanted our meetings to stay indoors. It’s easy to keep things professional when all we have to keep us busy is working on the case. It keeps me focused on the mission. Out here, in the wild, I don’t have that anchor, and things between us start feeling like a date.
I pull my coat tighter around me, glancing over at Maddie to make sure she’s well-shielded against the thirty Fahrenheit chill of Chicago winter in her heavy wool coat.
She seems fine, but I need to hear her voice, so I ask anyway. “Are you cold?”
“I’m okay,” she whispers, eyes fixed on the wet sidewalks.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s kind of warm tonight for January in Chicago,” I try to joke, but Maddie only cracks a small smile, eyes still intently on the pavement.
There’s a stretch of silence, the wind picks up and Maddie swipes aside some loose strands of hair whipping in her face.
“Will it snow soon?” she finally asks.
“Yeah, probably next week.” I venture another glance, wondering what to say next.
In the end, I figure mission-oriented with a dash of personal is the safest bet. “So, tell me about Agent Lawrence.” I shove my hands into my pockets, eyes discreetly darting around in case something is off. “He sounds extremely protective of you.”
“Well, Uncle Leeismy godfather and has been my dad’s best friend since they were twelve.” Maddie frowns. “You know all of this. It’s in my file.”
“Yeah, it feels like more, though.” I shrug. “The way he talks about keeping you safe, that fierceness in his voice… I’ve only ever heard it from Nona when she talks about her boys.”
Maddie turns those silky gray eyes to me, and something soft simmers through when they meet mine. I feel cracked wide open under her gaze, and I never want it to stop.
“He helped raise us after Mom died,” Maddie adds. I nod, still feeling that I’m missing some crucial piece of information, and Maddie looks me over, then purses her lips in thought before deciding to tell me the big secret. “My mom and Uncle Lee were involved back in high school before she and my dad were a thing.”
“Really?” Not the answer I was expecting.
“They have a son, Luke.” She pulls out her phone and shows me a photo of a man who has her facial features but completely different coloring—brown eyes, bright brown hair, tanned skin—standing next to a pre-teen who looks just like Maddie but with Luke’s big chestnut brown eyes. “A cowboy hat?”
“Yeah, Mom, she was only sixteen, and she hid the pregnancy and gave him up for adoption to this sweet childless couple who lived on a small ranch in Texas.” Maddie puts away her phone, a swirly puff of air blowing out of her mouth into the cold night as she sighs. “Luke showed up on Uncle Lee’s doorstep when he was thirteen, opened a whole barrel of worms.”
She keeps calling him uncle, and I get the same weird connection vibes from when I was speaking to him about the detail. “How old were you?”
“Seven.”
“Wow, so it must have impacted you guys hard, finding all that out after she died.”
“Uncle Lee more than anyone.” She turns sad eyes to me, and I flex my fingers in my pocket, fighting the urge to put a comforting arm around her. “She had a congenital heart disease. The doctors told her that her body could probably survive the strain of two pregnancies and births, but no more.”
“And your little sister was number three, but no one knew.” I cave into the need, reaching over to cup her shoulder, hoping she won’t move away. She doesn’t, just smiles that sad smile again, moving closer to me and tucking herself under my arm. It feels natural and right, holding her in this intimate and comforting embrace.
“Uncle Lee was eaten away by guilt, and the Pandora box just exploded. His marriage fell apart because he never stopped loving my mom. He didn’t even marry Violet until after Mom died, as if he was still waiting until there was nothing to wait for. And then there was the biggest secret of all, the one that nearly tore the clan apart.”
She goes silent, and I don’t want to press the issue further. That was a lot of confiding in a short span of time on both our parts.
“So that’s why he’s so protective of you?” I wonder. “Guilt?”
“Maybe.” Maddie pulls her shoulders. “Or maybe it’s because deep down he’s always suspected he was my father as well, even though I have my dad’s eyes.”
“Wait.” I stop walking and frown. “I thought they had a thing in high school.”
“Yeah, and then there was that one time, the night before my parent’s wedding.” Maddie pulls the sleeves of her sweater from under her coat, balling them inside her fists and scratching them with her short pink fingernails.
It’s the first time she’s allowed herself a nervous gesture in front of me, a crack in the semblance of complete control she tries so hard to maintain.