My only regret is running in the first place, making her think I could never love her fully. I wish her pregnancy wouldn’t have been the tipping point. I want to tell myself I would have realized all of this sooner or later and gone back to her, but aside from it probably being too late by then, it’s also a lie.
I would have kept running and hiding. Just like I cowered away from joining her in any of the sonograms until today because I was scared of getting attached, of allowing myself to believe I get a second chance, of believing and having it all taken away again.
But there he was, alive and kicking and real. And he was mine.
When I pull into the parking lot of our building, I lift the handbrake and shift to Park, but I don’t cut the engine or make a move to exit the car. I just sit there, staring at the concrete wall.
“Mikey?” Lauren asks again in a soft voice, placing her hand on my arm. I turn to look at her bright eyes, full of tenderness and worry.
“We made a person,” I whisper, tears leaking out of my eyes as emotions flood me from every direction, and I release my seatbelt to lean over and kiss the round bump of her belly. Lauren’s arms cradle my head and stroke my back. She kisses my hair as I soak her sweater through.
This is it. Everything I want in my life is right here, in this car. Her. Our son.
Now I just have to convince Lauren that I’m fully on board and hope she is too.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Michael
It’s been almosttwo weeks since the sonogram, and Lauren has been getting antsier every passing day.
At first, she walked on eggshells around me, but once she realized I was fine, we went back to our easy rhythm, with me trying to do everything and anything in my power to show her I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. Lamaze classes included.
Only, instead of Lauren feeling at ease with my newfound dedication to building a family life with her, she started getting impatient and cranky. Today’s irritation has hit an all-time high with a ten-minute lecture on how I don’t stack the dishes right in the dishwasher.
“Okaaaay…” I frown and inspect Lauren when she seems to be over her tirade, and the thought that maybe she doesn’t want me here, doesn’t want me at all, flits through my mind filling me with dread, but I push it down and try not to jump to conclusions. “Is there any specific reason you’re extra snippy with me today?”
“You’re always here! Everywhere I look, cooking and cleaning, and…and…and stretching,” she accuses, crossing her arms and glaring at me. “Are you doing that on purpose? You know I’m a horny hormonal mess, so you’re doing that sexy stretchy thing? Just to get me riled up?”
Oh. Oooooooh.
A slow grin spreads over my face, and Lauren’s scowl deepens.
“You mean this?” I ask and raise my hands high above my head. She turns her back on me with a huff, but not fast enough to hide the heat climbing up to her cheeks. “I thought you were immune, Rockstar.”
“Oh, that’s a load of crap, Michael, and you know it,” she snaps, and I walk up behind her, close enough for her to feel me but not so close I’d accidentally touch her.
“You know,” I start, enjoying how her skin erupts into goosebumps at the lowering of my voice. “Part of the perks of having me take care of you is that it includes any form of care you need.”
“We shouldn’t have sex just to have sex, Michael,” she answers with wavering determination. “It’ll get confusing, and it won’t be good for Gremlin. We need to concentrate on being his parents, and that’s it.”
“We don’t have to have sex.” I lean low to her ear, so my lips lightly graze the shell when I next speak. “I could use my mouth on you.” I drag two fingers up her arm. “Maybe my fingers. Probably both.”
“Mikey, don’t.” But even as the words leave her mouth, her body leans into me as if it has a mind of its own, and a soft sigh passes her lips.
“I miss you, Lore.” My arms circle her middle. “Miss going to sleep with you and waking up with you. Miss having your smell all over me, reminding me of what’s waiting for me at home at the end of the day. I miss being able to kiss you whenever I want to.” My lips brush against her cheek. “Tell me I can kiss you, Lauren. Please.”
“Kiss me.” The words leave her lips in a desperate plea, and I cover her mouth with my own, the entire world around us aligning.
Slowly, I spin her to face me, continuing the soft contact of our lips, afraid that if I break it, Lauren will push me away. Taking her hand in mine, I start dancing with her to invisible music, swaying in the direction of the bedroom as my lips trail to her cheek and down to her neck.
“Mikey.” My name leaves her lips with a soft sigh, her arm tightens around me, and my body surges to life.
“Tell me I can touch you, Lore.” My kiss is harder this time, and Lauren answers with a needy whimper. “Tell me I can make love to you.”
“Make love to me,” she requests before pulling me in for another desperate kiss, and I swoop her up princess style and carry her to the bedroom, laying her gently on the bed before pulling my shirt over my head.
Lauren pushes her leggings down her long, slender legs and lets me tug her shirt and sports bra off. I eye her panties, and she nods, gasping with delight when I rip them off.