I don’t feel depressed, only tired and lonely and possibly a bit stressed from the court date with Jason next week. They’re refusing to back down, insisting on dragging me through hell, especially since the gala, when S.A.S.S. started being talked about outside the context of my relationship with Michael.
Every part of me wants to call Michael, talk to him about it and have him tell me everything will be okay, that I’m a rockstar. As amazing as our physical connection was, our friendship is what I truly miss. No one has ever carved out space for me the way he has. Cherished me, cared for me just for the sake of seeing me smile, said my name in a way that made me feel important.
I slump on the couch and tap on my phone, pulling up Michael’s contact and writingI miss you, then erasing it and pulling up Hattie’s contact.
“Home so soon?” Hattie asks with a knowing undertone, taking a bite out of something crunchy.
“What are you eating?” I deflect, realizing I’m kind of hungry even though I ate pasta with Cal less than an hour ago.
“Pringles. How was your date?”
“Nice,” I answer, going to the fridge and pulling out leftover chicken cutlets from a few days ago.
“That’s the third guy you’ve said that about since Michael left,” Hattie points out. “Just call him Lore.”
“What’s the point?” I frown, grabbing a cold cutlet and sniffing it before deciding it’s safe and taking a bite. “Look, I miss him. I’m not going to deny that, but he warned me off of falling for him since day one, so calling him would just be confusing for both of us.”
Especially him, I think as memories of his torn gaze from our last time together flits through my mind.
“Okay, if that’s what you want.” Hattie sighs. “The interview should be out next month.”
“Yeah, Mikey said it was pretty vanilla.” I grab another cutlet, number four. “The most invasive question they asked was about our photo on the terrace.”
“It’s still an exclusive with Michael Edwards,” Hattie points out, and I absentmindedly nod before yawning.
“I’m going to turn in,” I tell Hattie, shutting the lid on the remaining cutlets and returning them to the fridge.
“It’s barely 6:30 PM.” Hattie goes silent for a few seconds. “Are you okay, Lore?”
“Yeah, just tired lately.”
“Maybe you’re missing vitamins,” she offers. “You should go to the doctor.”
“I’m just stressed from the hearing coming up. I’m fine.” I dismiss her concerns, though I admit I’m getting a bit alarmed as well.
“Okay, but if it keeps up, promise me you’ll go get checked.” Hattie still sounds worried.
“I promise,” I answer. “See you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
With a sigh, I hang up and go to the shower, barely keeping awake long enough to brush my teeth and get pajamas on.
I’m woken by a wave of nausea, running to the toilet and throwing up all the cutlets.
“Dammit,” I groan.I knew I shouldn’t have eaten those.
Glancing out the window, I realize it’s still dark outside, so I clean up and go back to bed. Picking up my phone, I see it’s only 7:45 PM and that I have an unread message from about an hour earlier.
Michael:I know you’re freaking out right now, so this is me, reminding you that JJ ain’t got nothin’ on you, Rockstar.
I smile, wondering how and if to answer him, surmising that if he made the first move, it’s okay to reply.
Lauren:You and your words ??
I place my phone back on the nightstand, fully expecting not to hear from Michael again when suddenly my phone pings.
Michael:Are they working?