“I have all the paperwork, salary slips, estate records, everything. I’ll email you copies tomorrow,” Lauren says with a factual tone, then her gaze softens. “Thank you for helping me. Once I get my money back, I can pay you.”
I almost laugh at the no-nonsense tone that carries through the receiver when Phoebe practically scolds Lauren for daring to imagine a scenario where she’d take her money, the word family sounding loud and clear, and Lauren’s eyes fill with tears.
“Thank you,” she whispers before hanging up, her hand dropping to her lap as she fights back the tears with a quivering lip.
“Hey.” I unbuckle and slide close to her, pulling her against my chest. “I’m here, Rockstar. I got you.”
The rest of the drive is made in silence, with Lauren snuggled against my chest, and though she hasn’t broken down yet, the tremors of her body against mine indicate she isn’t far.
I help her out of the car, my heart breaking at the little hiccups she’s trying to hide brought on by the suppressed sobs, and I lead her up to the gallery bedroom, waiting for her to say or do something other than hug her middle and stare at the floor with her back to me.
When I realize she isn’t about to move, I walk up to her and circle her waist.
“Okay.” I drop a kiss on the top of her head. “We’re going to go take a nap now, Rockstar. Just you and me, cuddling and snoring.”
“I don’t snore.”
I can’t help but admire her ability to sound feisty even as I feel tears dropping on my arms. “Sure you don’t, honey.”
“Why are you doing this, Mikey?” Her voice is so small, lost, tired. “You could have any girl you want. Why are you still here, with me?”
I slowly spin her to face me.
“I told you before, Lauren,” I whisper, wiping away the wetness from her cheeks. “I’m here foryou. Because I care about you and I want you to be happy.” My finger hooks under her chin to lift her eyes to mine, that exposed gaze tearing me to shreds. “Tell me what you need me to do right now.”
“Make love to me again?” she asks in a barely-there whisper, large eyes pleading with me, begging me to remind her.
I know I should refuse her, but that look in her eyes, knowing this incredible woman only ever knew men who took from her or denied her, all I want is to be the man who gives her everything she needs and desires. “I’d like that.”
Lauren smiles and nods. “I need to get this—” she does a circular motion with her palm in front of her face “—under control first.”
“Yeah, the snot isn’t very appealing,” I agree, laughing at her appalled face.
“Ugh, gross.” She scrunches her nose and walks to the bathroom, then pauses at the door for a second before turning to me. “Your mom was a lucky woman.”
“How so?”
“Trista told me you take after your dad in character.” Lauren smiles and shrugs. “If he was even half the man you are, your mom was lucky to be loved by him.”
The swell of emotions in my chest causes a jumble in my head, and I say the only thing that makes sense. “He was twice the man I am.”
“Wow.” Her smile broadens, and her eyes shine. “No wonder you turned out so great, then.”
She’s inside the bathroom before I manage to wrap my head around what she said, leaving me to sort out the mess in my mind alone.
That pang of dull longing that never really goes away makes itself known in my chest, remembering my parents together, that awe-inspiring relationship they had, and the kind of father my dad was before he was ripped away from us. The kind of father I always thought I’d be before it was all ripped away from me.
Most of all, it makes me think about all the things I wish I could give Lauren, everything she’ll eventually find with someone else, someone who hasn’t had pieces of himself torn off and buried six feet under so many times he doesn’t even remember what being whole feels like anymore.
But Lauren, she still has a chance, and whatever I have left in me, I’ll give her, so she can find the happiness she deserves.
Even if it means that, when we part ways in a few weeks, I’ll be nothing but an empty shell.
* * *
Lauren
“Idiot!” I scold myself in the mirror. “Stupid, moron, idiot!”