Chapter 3
It wasn’t till lunchthat Samantha realized she couldn’t go to an AA meeting after work.
She had music team practice.
Samantha loved playing the flute. It was one of the few things in life that she enjoyed. It calmed her down, gave her joy, and made her feel closer to God. But right now, she really wasn’t in the mood. She was physically sick, but worse than that, she was freaking out over the mysterious blood. She’d spent the day behind her desk, glancing at the front door every three seconds for the cops who were going to come storming through it to slap the cuffs on her.
And no matter how much she told herself that she couldn’t have possibly done something evil, she couldn’t shake the fear that she had.
She knew that if she sneaked a quick drink before music team practice that she’d feel better. The practice would be more enjoyable, and she wouldn’t be so worried about the truth of what had happened the night before.
But she couldn’t quite let herself do it. Couldn’t let herself stop at the gas station for a mini or two, though she’d done it before.
Drinking had gotten her into this mess. She wasn’t going to drink now. Not while she was begging God to rescue her from said mess.
And so she struggled through the practice. She endured the jolly attitudes of her teammates, none of whom were divorced. With the exception of Jake, who was young and a little wild, they all seemed to be perfect little Christians with perfect little lives.
She felt hate in her heart when she was supposed to be feeling love. She felt envy even though she knew it was evil.You have the life you have because of the choices you’ve made, she reminded herself.You signed up for this.She’d chosen a life of booze and loneliness. Not on purpose, but she’d done it. She couldn’t blame anyone else.
She took small comfort in the fact that she’d come back to God. After growing up in the church, she’d run so far from him that she’d gone so far as to deny his existence. But then Brent had left, and she’d had nowhere else to turn. Determined to get sober and win Brent back, she’d started going to AA, where she’d found God again.
And finding him had led her here, to Greater Life Church, where she’d found herself a home. And not exactly a great life, but certainly a life better than she’d had before she’d walked through the doors. Maybe she should start calling it Better Life Church.
But she hadn’t managed to get sober. Not for good. And she hadn’t managed to win Brent back. Not even close.
She realized her team leader was staring at her. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Tiffany snickered. Samantha considered telling her that she wasn’t allowed to snicker until she could sing on key, but she bit her tongue.
Harry was not upset with her for not paying attention. The man was a complete ditz. Sometimes he didn’t even pay attention to himself. He was a gifted musician and worship leader, but a ditz, nonetheless. Never fazed by anything, he was happy to tell her again. “Lincoln and Shelby have gotten engaged and have asked us to play at the wedding.”
“They weren’t engaged already?” They had certainly been acting it. She didn’t know if she’d ever seen a happier couple. It made her want to weep. She never allowed herself to look at them. Shelby was so perfect. Lincoln was so perfect. Together they made the perfectly annoying couple.
Harry laughed, though she hadn’t meant to be funny. “No, I don’t think so. I guess he recently proposed.”
“Did he?” Jake asked. “Or did Cindy just tell them it was time to get married?”
Everyone laughed except for Samantha. Poor Cindy Harrington was now the butt of jokes. For all the good she was doing people, she was getting laughed at. That wasn’t fair.
“Cindy’s helped a lot of people in this church,” Samantha tried.
“Has she helped you, yet?” Jake said. Jake was often a jerk.