“Why did he leave you the first time?”
“The drinking. Or so he said. I don’t know. The whole thing is pretty foggy. He said I was a horrible wife, that I loved alcohol more than him. He was annoyed that I wouldn’t quit. He didn’t understand that I couldn’t quit. Or at least, that it wasn’t that easy.”
“But you’re not drinking anymore.”
“No, but I’m still struggling with it. No reason to think he’s suddenly going to be patient and understanding about that.”
“I think he’s given you lots of reasons to think that.”
She had a point. “Maybe.”
“So you said all the things that could go wrong. But that’s only one thing. Is that the only thing?”
She sucked in some air and leaned back into her couch cushions. “I don’t know. But there’s this thing in AA, this principle, that you shouldn’t date or start a new relationship when you’re early in your recovery. Because it can mess up your recovery. So I guess I have doubts about that too. I love him so much, Cindy. Always have. And I haven’t even seen him since I came back to God or since I stopped drinking this time. I don’t want to accidentally put him ahead of God or ahead of my recovery.”
Cindy was quiet for a long time.
Samantha checked her phone to make sure the call hadn’t been dropped.
“I’m not a recovery expert,” Cindy said, “so you should follow up with Carol. And God too. Definitely pray about it. But here’s my two cents. I can understand why they don’t advise you to start a new relationship. That can be a crazy time in a person’s life. It sucks up every ounce of attention. They call it a whirlwind for a reason.” She laughed. “But this isn’t like that. This is yourhusband.You already know him. And yes, you’re divorced right now, but still. I don’t think it counts as a new relationship. I think this is a relationship that you already have, and it’s being restored by God. And definitely talk to Brent about it too. If it doesn’t seem like he’s going to support you in your recovery, then yeah, you probably don’t want to focus on him right now. But I really don’t think that will happen. I think Brent has grown up a lot since you last knew him. I think you might be surprised.”
October 23
Dear Frank,
Well I haven’t told her the truth yet, and she’s going out with him tonight, so it’s probably going to come up. I hope she doesn’t hate me. Oh well. I suppose it’s worth it if she gets to live happily ever after with a man who loves her.
But I really hope she doesn’t hate me.
So it seems these two are figuring it out on their own and don’t really need me anymore. So I’m going to start looking for a new challenge. I know you’re anxious to hear all about it. Ha!
It’s Saturday, and I’m lonely, Frank. The leaves are beautiful here. I wish we could go for a long drive and look at them like a couple of old fogies. We could drive too slow, brake too often, hold up traffic, and get honked at by youngsters with places to go and people to see.
I miss you, Frank. Love you a lot. I’m sure the scenery is beautiful where you are too.
Love,
Cindy