She realized then that she hadn’t experienced authentic joy since she was a kid.
Since she’d started drinking.
This depressing thought nearly knocked the joy right out of her and worsened her thirst. Her eyes traveled the apartment, looking for something to drink, even as her brain insisted she wasn’t going to drink.
She had to do something. She was on the verge of danger.
But she couldn’t miss music team practice. Well, she could, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to honor her commitment. Plus, playing the flute was one of the few things she enjoyed in life.
But she needed to go to a meeting too.
She took another chocolate from the box, popped it into her mouth, and then took off her coat and sat down to call Carol, who answered immediately.
“I need some advice.” Her voice was muffled from the chocolate. She swallowed quickly, feeling guilty for not enjoying that one enough.
“Okay.”
“I’m uh ... I’m struggling. I should go to a meeting, but I have music team practice tonight. I need to be at both things.”
“Okay.”
Samantha waited for her to say more.
Finally, she said, “Which do you want to go to more?”
Want? Wasn’t this about need?
“I don’twantto go to the meeting at all. But I think it would be kind of stupid of me not to.”
“And do youwantto go to the music practice?”
“I do.”
“All right. What time does that start?”
“Six.”
“Okay. My advice is to stop overthinking things. Go to music practice. I’ll meet you there.”
Samantha laughed. “Seriously?”
“Of course. Won’t Harry let me watch?”
Of course he would, but talk about boring! “Sure. He will.”
“Okay, you’d better get going then. You’re going to be late.”
Usually Samantha changed out of work clothes before music practice, but Carol was right: she was out of time. Wrestling with balloons and crying over chocolate had munched up a lot of her minutes.