The words hovered on my tongue, screaming to finally be voiced.
But, I didn’t say them.
Because, in the end, the truth would only hurt her, not free her.
Leif’s parole had ended, and Terrance Ward’s threats no longer wielded any power over us. But he would always be her father, the only parent she had left. That was one of the things that had bonded us. Pain over losing our mothers. It was a fucked up club no one wants to belong to. And while my father had become emotionally absent and an alcoholic, hers had tightened his grip, turning overprotective, nearly suffocating in his need to encase his only daughter in bubble wrap. It'd frustrated Lennon, even pissed her off at times, but she’d recognized the source of his need to shelter her. And she loves him.
I refuse to be the person who destroys her relationship with her father. I refuse to take away the one constant that’s always been in her life.
I, for damn sure, haven’t been.
So, even though this secret hangs around my neck like an albatross, I’ll keep it.
Which means lying to her.
“We were too young to take off together. It was a nice dream but an unrealistic one. College, a home, a stable job—that was all in your future. Not living in a car or working in dive bars.”
“That’s bullshit.” Her flat statement falls between us like a stone in a placid lake, the accusation behind it rippling out. “I don’t know if you became a liar after you left here or if you were one all along. I’m leaning towards option B.”
“Lennon…” But hell, I have nothing to say. I can’t defend myself. The only defense against that is the truth—the one thing I can’t give her.
“A part of me thinks you get off on this.” She lifts her arms as if to cross them over her chest, but at the last second, lowers them to her sides. I get it. After crying in my arms, after kissing me and betraying the need that still flares greedy and hot between us, she doesn’t want to reveal any more vulnerability in front of me. Yeah. She has no idea how well I get it. “What? You don’t have enough people throwing themselves at you, worshipping you, begging for you to notice them? Or for your…” Her mouth curls at the corner as her gaze drops to my still hard cock. “Attention? They’re not enough? You also need the naïve girl stupid enough to believe in your bullshit?” She looses a harsh laugh. “Not that I haven’t made it easy for you.”
“Baby, that’s not”
She slices a hand through the air.
“Don’t call me that,” she snaps. Then lower but fiercer, harder. “You don’t get to call me that ever again.”
Exhaling, she closes her eyes, and when she lifts her lashes, the steely resolve there has my stomach bottoming out.
Say something. Do something, goddammit. Don’t let her walk out of here again.
But when Lennon gives me one last flinty stare, stalks around me and exits the breakroom, I say nothing. I do nothing.
Growing up the son of a drunk, teaches you to lie early on. Not just to other people but to yourself.
Dad’s not feeling well. He’ll stop drinkingthistime. You’ll never see him in this bar again.
Years later, I’m still deceiving others. Still convincing myself I’m not a coward.
Still fucking lying.
Some things really don’t ever change.
5
Lennon
There’s an old saying that trouble comes in threes.
First, King Sullivan returns to town.
Second, I fall apart in front of him and then kiss him.
And now three. Dad and Justin descending the courthouse steps and heading toward me, wearing twin expressions of concern and determination.
I’ve never been one to buy into omens, but this? It has me checking out trees for a raven cawing “Nevermore.”