“Not your place, man,” he says, voice low.
Logically, I know this. I do. But every cell in my body cries out that it’s no one else’s place, no one’srightbut mine. Even though I abdicated that right when I snuck out of this town like a thief, abandoning her.
She glances away from me, switching her attention back to Leif and Gunner. A strained smile replaces the more natural one she wore, but she still brushes the back of her finger along Gunner’s cheek.
“Well, you’re just beautiful, Gunner,” she murmurs.
For a moment, that caricature of a smile drops and she dips her head. Jesus, my chest aches. My palms itch to rub them over her hair, her neck, back. To pull her close and let her rest her weight against me. Let me bear her up for however long she needs me. I want to be that person again for her. If I close my eyes, I can even feel her breath on the base of my throat, the press of her fingers on my skin. But I can’t. And not just because she would never allow me to. I’ve hurt her once, and where I am,whoI am—an ex-addict working to keep his sobriety, a new single dad learning every day what it means to be a father, a musician discovering what it means to work again, play again sober—would be a burden to her. A painful burden.
As the look on her face attests to.
“Lennon…” Leif says.
“Is Asa around?” she asks, cutting him off. “India said she talked to him earlier about me dropping my car off.”
“He’s in the back. I’ll go get him for you.” Leif glances over at me, and I’m there before he can call out my name.
“I got him.”
Leif shifts a look from me to Lennon, the back to me, eyes narrowed. He hesitates, and it doesn’t take a mentalist to read his body language. He’s wary of leaving me with her.
He’s not wrong.
Yet, I’m not moving away from her. No matter how much I’m courting our downfall.
“I’ll be right back,” Leif says, no, warns and turns Gunner back over to me.
“Lennon,” I murmur. “How’re you?”
She crosses her arms over her chest, takes a step back. “Fine.” Her gaze falls on Gunner again, who’s whining and wiggling in my arms. “This is your baby.”
“Yes.”
I catch her low, sharp inhalation seconds and, like last night, that almost imperceptible flinch she can’t quite manage to hide.
“Len…shit.”
With a squeal, Gunner launches himself out of my arms and straight toward Lennon. With a gasp, she catches him. My heart hurls for the back of my throat, lodging itself there, and she’s shaking like a leaf, her arms closed around my son in a vise grip. Even Mac appears next to me, his breathing ragged. The only one unaffected by his acrobatics is Gunner. Babbling happily, he balls the front of her dress in one fist and bats at her earrings with her other hand.
“Oh God,” she breathes, burying her face in his curls. “He scared the hell out of me.”
“He must really like you.” Mac laughs, and it’s only a little bit winded. “Not that I can blame him.”
At his words, she stiffens. Pain slashes across her face again, but unlike moments earlier, it doesn’t smooth out. Her expression crumbles. And she gently untangles Gunner’s fingers from her dress before carefully handing him to me.
“I need to go,” she rasps.
Before I can object, she whirls around and disappears inside the side door leading back into the building.
“Take Gunner.”
Mac accepts my son and sighs. “Dammit, King. This isn’t a good idea.”
No, it isn’t. But that doesn’t stop me from charging after her. The door opens into the garage’s lobby and, ignoring the sudden silence and then loud whispers, I stalk across the floor, catching Lennon’s arm just before she pushes open the door.
“King, what’re you doing?” She jerks at my hold on her, but damn if I’m letting her leave like this. “The hell? People are staring,” she hisses.
“Come with me then, and don’t give them more to stare at or talk about.” Turning to the front desk where a younger Black guy isn’t even trying to pretend that he’s not watching us, I tip my chin. “Where’s your bathroom?”