“Hey,” I say, pulling back and cradling her shoulders. “Maybe we should make this a two way pact. If you ever feel like you might be on the verge of doing something, uh, unorthodox, call me first. That way you stay out of jail and I don’t have to explain to the school board why my criminal behavior shouldn’t prevent me from teaching impressionable young children.” When Lena’s eyes grow moist, I tug her back into my arms and hug her close. “And just my opinion? But girl. Ben—who couldn’t commit to you or his so-called crab fishing dream— isn’t worth having a record over. And you also know they don’t have Netflix in jail. Now, Ben for damn sure ain’t worth losingthat.”
A water-logged chuckle echoes in my ear, and guilt steals through me, leaving a slick, grimy path behind it. While I’d been so engrossed in breaking up with Justin, managing my dad’s reaction and work, I’d missed that my friend was hurting—ishurting. Never again, though.
“So deal? We have a double pact?” I lean back and hold up a pinkie.
“Deal.” She hooks hers around mine. “Thank you, Len.”
“You don’t need to thank me. This is what we do.”
She smiles, then tilts her head. “But just to verify…Monday night.Love and Hip Hopand pizza. Y’know. Just in case.”
I grin. “Got it.”
4
King
“Holy fuck. It’s an honest to God malt shop. I promise you; I’ve only seen one in Archie comics.” Mac twists in the passenger seat, his wide, barrel chest straining against the seat belt. “Wehaveto go in. If only just to see if Pop Tate is there.”
I snicker as Gideon groans from the backseat.
“Careful, bruh. Your teenage girl is showing.”
Mac doesn’t turn from the window but he lifts an arm, his middle finger extended. “And she’s loud and proud, muthafucka.”
Gideon’s low, rumble of a laugh rolled throughout the car, and I grin. Mac, Gideon, Kade and I—we’re more like brothers than best friends and bandmates. And like any family, the members possess different personalities. Mac, the sensitive, playful one. Gideon, the more reserved, broody member. Kade, the extrovert big brother. And then there’s me.
The fuck up.
And yet, here we all are. Back in my hometown where they all moved to be with me and my son.
I don’t know where I would be without them.
And as I park across the street from Hunt Auto, I’m even more grateful for having them here with me.
Shutting off the engine, I stare at the garage where my brother has worked since he was eighteen. Right after I sacrificed everything to keep him out of jail for a ten year stretch.
Clenching my jaw, I jerk the keys out of the ignition and push open the car door. Immediately, a sharp whine and a cry of “Dada! Dada!” reaches me, and the shit filling my chest like a block of cement breaks apart. While shutting my door, I’m opening the back one, and I smile down at Gunner. As soon as he sees me, his beautiful scrunched up face clears into a smile that matches my own, exposing his two bottom teeth, and he lifts his chubby arms towards me. The pressure of too much emotion swells inside me, and my skin is almost too tight, too small to contain it. How is it possible for a twenty pound baby to wield so much power over me? To completely own me?
“If he didn’t have me wrapped me around his finger, too, I would really roast your ass right here and now for that goofy look on your face,” Gideon says.
I snort, releasing Gunner from his car seat and picking him up. His warm weight settles against my side, and he immediately starts babbling, patting my chest and glancing around. His thick, dark blond curls tickle my chin, and I rub a hand over them, the cool strands and his sweet non-stop “talking” a comfort as I stare up at the garage. The bay is open and several people work on cars that are either on the ground or on the hydraulic lifts. Hunt Auto took care of the usual tune-ups, alignments and engine work. But they were really known throughout the state for their restoration of older model cars. That’s what Leif did and was damn good at.
“You good?” Mac claps a hand on my shoulder. Gideon bumps the other one.
“Yeah.” Rubbing my chin over the top of Gunner’s head, I repeat, softer this time, “Yeah.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I cross the street, my friends flanking me. Instead of veering left to the office, I head for the bay. My heartbeat echoes in my head and my breathing is a loud whistling wind in my ears. I shouldn’t be nervous about seeing my brother. I love him, and I’m so fucking proud of him. But there are the seeds of resentment, guilt and embarrassment that’re wrapped around the love and pride. The seeds that have sprouted roots over the years and have grown an invisible but tangible barrier between us.
It's my fault, that barrier. So it’s my responsibility to tear it down. I just wish I knew how.
Asa Hunt, owner of the garage, walks out of a side door leading into the bay, and he notices me first. He draws to an abrupt halt, eyes narrowing on me. I don’t glance away from him—the motherfucker used to play football before he was injured but he’s still huge—but I feel the other employees’ eyes on us, hear their voices trail off.
Asa doesn’t look away from me either even as he lifts his chin and shouts, “Leif. Someone here to see you.”
Within seconds, my brother emerges from a back room, shutting the door behind him. Dressed in dark green overalls, he removes a pair of safety glasses and tugs a mask down.
“Yeah?” he asks just before the blue gaze we both share scans the garage and lands on me. Surprise flashes in his eyes, followed by a glimmer of happiness. But that dims quickly, and my little brother is unreadable. “King, I heard you were back in town.”