Rush leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees and clamps his hands together under his chin. A move I’ve seen him do when he’s in deep thought.
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Have you ever not wanted to be shunned because of who your family is?”
I look between both of them.
“I didn’t think so.” I climb out of Gage’s lap and pace the living room, my blanket trailing behind me.
I stop and face the lake unable to say this next part easily. “I’m not proud of who my family is. I don’t want what my father did and all the court crap and him being behind bars to follow me. I didn’t want you to judge me for who I share blood with. I wanted you to like me for who I am.”
I turn to find Aziel gone and my heart sinks to the floor bleeding.
Tears spill down the sides of my cheeks.
“Will he come back?”
Gage sets his jaw, his gaze narrowed out over the water. Great. He won’t even look at me.
“He nearly lost this life to the cartel a short time ago. Now he’s in love with a mafia member. It’s going to take him a minute to digest how fucked up that is.”
Love? Not only is my heart bleeding, but it’s taking its final thumps. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was a little fun at first.”
“And now?”
Rush’s question burns and I frown in turn. “And now there’s nothing fun or funny about hurting any of you. That is the last thing I want.”
Gage is up and tucking me beneath his chin before pushing me toward the back of the house. “Go find him. Make it right and everything will be okay, sweetheart.”
Gage’s words give me hope. A flickering light at the end of a long hall pulls me in.
“Aziel?”
I crack the door open and find my lover sipping whiskey in the den. He’s sitting in a large armchair facing the window and watching the storm roll in.
“Aziel?” I ask again with fear lodged in my throat.
Haunted blue eyes turn to meet mine. He holds a hand out and I go to him, slipping my palm over his.
“Come here, beautiful.”
He drags me and my blanket into his lap and he settles his arm over my thighs. Sitting like this feels right, but my heart hangs low.
“Aziel, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
He looks straight ahead like he’s captured in the past.
“When I took the blunt force of that IED I thought I was dead. I’ve seen what those bombs can do. They are nasty. In fact, I did flatline. Three times. But I survived somehow. I still don’t understand it.”
I cup his face and lure his gaze to mine. “You did survive and I will say a prayer of gratitude every day of my life that you are still here. Please forgive me.”
“Did you know the cartel uses civilian drones to drop bombs on their targets?”
I shake my head. “No.” I have a sinking feeling I know where this is going and it’s exactly what I feared. “Not all crime families are the same, Aziel. My family has lines we don’t cross.”
He gives a predatory smile. “I’ve seen the bombs kill children. Whole families. Villages. And for what? Territory? All because the good guys refused to sell their drugs?”
“Did you stop them?”