Despite everything, my realization makes Snark grin at me. “You didn't know? Only old ladies get to ride with blooded members.”
“Does that mean that I'm—” I don't even know how to react to that.
Hawk shakes his head. “Not until we claim you officially, but you've carried our fucking baby. You might as well be.”
And with that knowledge bouncing around my head, I cling to him as we ride back. Does that make them my fiancés? I'm going to save that for later when things aren't so crazy.
Because there are other things bouncing around my head too, and they all have to do with me, the guys and Dario. As long as I'm here, they're not safe. That's obvious now. He wants me. He's always wanted me, and he will hurt and kill everyone close to me until he gets what he wants. If he can place one traitor in the club, he can find another. Even turned away from the Family, he has resources. He's proved that.
The question is what do I do about it?
And I don't know.
But I do know that I don't want any of the guys to be threatened. Or Bea. Or Emily. Or any of the others who've accepted me and Izzy when my own family wouldn't. Not really, at least.
The Family would take me back, but as what? A possession?
But if I'm with Family, maybe that'll at least draw Dario away from here?
Crap. I need to think about this. Make a plan.
I'm still trying to figure out when we get to the club. The guys take the van back to pick up the bike, but I take the stairs up into the clubhouse to find Izzy and hold her close.
My phone dings.
You can stop this, Alessa. Just come to me.
Or I'll hurt everyone you ever cared about.
28
ALESSA
I haven't handled a gun in years. I eye the weapon with distaste as I weigh it in my hands, twisting and turning it. It feels unfamiliar, dangerous. Like it might suddenly leap and bite me if I don't watch it. It's not an unreasonable fear. Dad taught me proper gun safety—another joy of being raised in the Mafia—but I know this one isn't loaded and the safety's on. Still, treat every gun like it's about to go off.
Hopefully Hawk won't notice I've taken it. Not until I'm done, at least.
If this works out, they'll hardly even know I've been gone. Bea and Emily have Izzy well in hand, thinking I'm napping. The guys are out testing Viking's fixed bike. If I'm going to do this, now's the time.
God, this is stupid. I shouldn't do this without the guys, but they'd never let me do this at all. And if I don't do something, Dario's going to hurt them. Izzy. Probably Beatrice, maybe even Dad, who I still love dearly, despite his old fashioned attitudes. I always figured he'd come around when things settled down, but unless I deal with Dario, things never will.
The gun is so much heavier than just its weight. It's a threat and a promise, and a possible way out of this. I'm not a killer. Obviously. I couldn't even pretend if I wanted to, but hopefully that's what will make this work.
He'll never expect this from me.
I pick up my phone, draw a deep breath, then tap the contact. Here goes nothing.
He answers the phone almost immediately. His voice is gleeful, like he already knows he's won. “Alessa.”
“Dario.”
29
BEAR
“Where's Alessa?” I toss my jacket over the back of the couch in the common room where Emily and Beatrice are entertaining Izzy. Or trying too, at least. Unlike usual, my little girl's grumpy today, and they're not having much luck.
“Napping,” says Emily, her face screwed up in frustration. “Though I'm ready for her to wake up now. I think Izzy needs a little mom time.”
I laugh at that. “Just wait until you've got your own. You'll be fucking begging for a little bit of naptime.”
Wild Child walks by, coming out of the kitchen, cutting an apple into pieces with his knife and feeding himself a bit at a time. “You look good with a baby in your arms, babe.”
She rolls her eyes at him. “If you think it looks so fun to play with a grumpy baby, why don't you have a turn? Good practice for your own.”
He laughs, but stabs his knife into the coffee table and puts the rest of the apple next to it. “Sure. Hand her over.”
I grab Izzy instead, lifting her right up out of Emily's hands from behind the couch. “You guys should be catching up on your sleep, 'cause in a couple of months, none of you are fucking getting any in a long time.” I leave them to it, heading to Viking's room with my little terror.
Even my beard isn't fun enough to entertain Izzy. She's probably sleepy. “It's okay. Let's find Mommy.” I give her my finger to play with, but it's not any more fun than my beard today.