The party's loud even from here and when I come around the corner, it's like walking into a wall of sound. It's a good thing Izzy sleeps like a rock.
Bear sees me as I come out into the common room. “Hey. I didn't think you were coming.”
“Just a short while. Have you seen Bea? I need to talk to her.”
“She was here earlier, but she and Trucker disappeared a while back. Might not see her 'til morning.” His mischievous smirk is crooked. “Maybe she's got the right idea. Let's—”
“Not right now. Sorry.”
“Oh.” He looks disappointed, and for a moment I wonder if he'll carry me off anyway, but he nods. “Maybe later tonight?”
He looks so hopeful that I can't help but smile. It's not like the idea isn't tempting. I'm just not in the right mindset. “Yeah, maybe.”
“I'll take that as a promise.” He winks, and then Ripper gets his attention about something. I leave them to it while I make the rounds on the off chance I run into Bea.
“Alessa. We need to fucking talk.”
I whirl to find Hawk behind me. “I’m kinda in the middle of something.”
“It’ll only take a minute. My room.”
A chill races down my spine at the words. What if he really is the leak? “I don't know if I'm comfortable with that.”
The look he gives me is scathing. “I'm not going to fucking hurt you. Jesus. What the fuck do you take me for? Just talk.”
If this is an act, he's very convincing. And I can’t pass up the chance to actually talk to him if he’s finally ready to open up. Every time I see him with Izzy, it kills me not to be able to share the moment with him like I can the other guys. It’s obvious what a big heart he has.
So I swallow down my misgivings and nod. “Okay.”
25
HAWK
Alessa looks nervous. Scared. She’s leaning up against the wall and hugging herself, watching me like I'm a wild animal. We've been maneuvering around each other since she got here, but this seems different. Is she feeling guilty?
“Sit down. You're making me fucking nervous.”
The look she gives me isn't flattering, but she nods and sits in one of my chairs. The one farthest away from me. I want to grab it and drag it over, or put her right in my lap so she can’t look away.
“Listen,—”
“I—”
We start at the same time, stop, and look at each other. “Go ahead,” she says.
“All right.” I draw a breath. “You’re not going to like this, but you’ve gotta think hard. Bea. Do you trust her?”
“What?” She looks at me like I'm fucking insane. “Of course. We're besties. She's been with me… well, we've been friends for years.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Then more certainly, “Yeah. She would never do anything to hurt me.”
“Someone on the inside has been leaking information to the mob.”
She jumps when I say it, then frowns. “How did you know?”
“What? How do you fucking know?”
“I asked you first.”
“This isn't a fucking game, Alessa. Are you sure about Bea? Because Snark’s seen things in his data log shit. I don't know how he fucking does it, but someone's sending messages in and out of here, to the mob. So how fucking sure are you? Or maybe it’s you? Is that it?”
“How could you even ask me that? And I’m really fucking sure, okay?” She pushes herself back out of the chair so she can glare at me. She looks fucking hot like that, all self-righteous and angry. It's never been her looks I had a problem with. “And that's rich, coming from you.”
“From me? What the fucks that supposed to mean?”
“You're the one who's got the most to gain by getting rid of me.”
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” It's my turn to get out of my chair. I can't fucking sit for this shit. Hot or not, she has no right to accuse me of disloyalty.
“I keep trying to imagine who else could be doing this, but I just keep coming back to you. I know why you’re mad at me. I just didn’t think you hated me enough for this.” Tears glisten in her eyes, putting out the fire of my anger nearly as quickly as it started.
“We’ve been over this. You're Isabella's mother, for fuck's sake.”
She sniffs. “But you hate me! I w—I want things to be good between us, but it always goes like this! I shouldn’t have come in here.”
I grab her wrist as she tries to get by me. Her forearm feels small and vulnerable in my grip “I'm a fucking bastard, Alessa. And yeah, people skills aren't my fucking thing. But do you know what I'm fucking not? A goddamn traitor.”
“I know you’d never betray the club. But don’t pretend you care about me.” She tries to wriggle out of my grasp, so I grab her other hand and lock both her wrists behind her. It puts us so close she has to crane her neck to glare at me.