For a moment, I listen to see if we've woken Izzy, but there's not a sound from the bedroom. Thank God. I allow my eyes to shut for a moment too, while my hands search out the guys, finding Bear's broad chest and Viking's hard thigh. We're all wet, sticky, naked messes, but we deserve a little rest. And then I fade out.
I wake up to Beatrice yelling, “Holy shit!”
A naked, panicked scramble later, combined with a mortified squeal and deep laughter, the three of us escape to my bedroom, leaving my roommate bemused at the door. A moment later, she cracks up, and I can't help it. I laugh along.
This time Izzy does wake up.
13
HAWK
“Warm up a bottle. She's awake,” yells Bear.
Since I'm at the fridge to grab a beer anyway, I pull out one of the milk bottles, too. I don’t know what I expected to find when they convinced me to come over here, but whatever I can say about Alessa’s choices, she's fucking devoted to the baby.
“How the fuck do I do this again?”
“Just put it in and close the top. It’s all pre-programmed. Want me to do it?” Snark starts to get up.
“I can put a round peg in a round hole, asshole.”
“Fine!” He throws up his hands and sits back down.
The milk bottle fits neatly into the bottle warmer, which starts doing its thing as soon as I shut it. By the time Bear comes back out with Izzy, the warmer has dinged and the bottle's ready. I toss it in his direction like I’ve done it a million times. He catches it easily, even with Izzy on his arm.
Fuck.
That's my goddamn baby.
Her mother lied. Hid our own fucking baby from us. Unforgivable. And everyone else is rolling over for Alessa as if none of that shit happened. I figured I at least had Viking on my side, but after he and Bear came back from the apartment a couple days ago, he's been as fucking cunt drunk as the other two. We're supposed to be a fucking unit, but these days I'm not feeling it.
All four of us are here today. Snark, Viking and Bear jumped like fucking overeager sheep dogs the moment Alessa called and asked if we—more like they—could keep an eye on Isabella while she was in class. Of course I'll fucking watch my kid, but I hate the way Alessa's got the others twirled around her finger.
I'm here for the baby, but also to see what the fuck has the guys so eager, and honestly, fucking forgetful. They think I'm being too hard on her, but they're going too fucking easy, if you ask me.
Bear drops into the couch, Izzy on his arm while he bottle feeds her. Her hands beat at the side of the bottle as she suckles. A little kids' song that tickles the back of my memories rumbles softly in Bear’s chest. I hate to admit it, but I’m fucking jealous.
“You wanna hold her?” Bear asks.
“What? No!” If anyone fucks with our little girl, I'm going to skin them alive, but I don't know how to be good around a baby. Never had one, never had siblings, never had a fucking dad. My family life experience wasn't all that.
“It’s easy. She’s not floppy or anything,” says Snark.
“Don’t let him mess with you,” Bear says softly. “First time he held her he looked like a prom queen who accidentally caught a football.”
“I did fucking not!”
“Well, I don’t want to hold the baby. I was just thinking about how fucking wrong it is that you’re all bending over backwards for the woman who betrayed us. I shouldn’t have let you talk me into coming.” I get up and reach for my keys.”
“Sit your ass back down,” Viking says with quiet, deadly authority.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Just because it takes more than big tits and a thick ass to—”
He stands and comes chest to chest with me. “You don’t want to finish that. We’re putting up with a lot of your attitude because we know you’ve got shit to work through, but don’t you fucking dare insinuate that we’re here because of pussy. She had our fucking child. Not just ‘the baby’, but Isabella. Izzy. And until you found that out, you were just as eager to get a second round with Alessa as the rest of us. She’s no saint, but she’s not a monster, Hawk. She’s not your mom.”
“Don’t you think I fucking know that?” I shout.
The baby stops feeding and starts to whimper, making me feel like an even bigger asshole than before. It'd be a lot easier if I did think Alessa was a monster, but she’s just young and scared. And gorgeous. Even prettier than I remember.
And I can’t tell if I want to punish her for what she did, or how that makes me feel.