“It's okay, Bea. You’ll get me next month. Dad always sends over some extra anyway. It's fine.”
Her smile's embarrassed, but she nods gratefully. “Yeah. Thanks. Next month.” The way she says it makes me think she’s not as sure as she wants me to believe. I hope she's alright. But if she wants to tell me, she will. I hate to think she's in trouble.
“So about your baby daddies…” She grins, and this time the awkwardness is gone. “Did the reunion end with a bang, or what?”
“Jesus, no.” I have to laugh at her enthusiasm, but it fades when I think about how it actually went down. “No, they might want Izzy, but they were so pissed at me. Hawk hates me. He looked ready to take me over his knee.”
She wiggles in her seat. “You tease. Tell me if he does. I want every detail.”
“Bea! Not like that.” Of course, now my mind's coming up with its own ideas, and yeah, maybe a little like that.
“You're blushing,” she teases, point made. She's not totally wrong.
“I think Bear will forgive me. He seemed curious about the baby and willing to roll with it. He was the only one that was sympathetic when I tried to explain why things went the way they did. And Snark seemed excited to have a kid. So maybe they won't be so bad. I don’t know about Viking. He was mad, but harder to read. But Hawk made it very, very clear that he was there for the baby, and only the baby.” I shudder at the memory.
“You’re going to get the best hate fuck ever. I’m almost jealous. Maybe something kinky.” She takes another sip and finally the cream dot on her nose gets big enough for her to notice. “You could've told me,” she says with a laugh and wipes it off.
“I could have.” I shrug. “I don’t know. I should be glad they’re all invested in Izzy, but I don’t want whatever arrangement we end up with to be more awkward than it has to be. I wish I’d tried harder. I think I screwed up big time.”
“Oh, poor you. You might have to settle for two or three men instead of four. Do you know how spoiled you sound? It's hard enough to find one good man and then you've found four good hard men.”
“Jesus, Bea. It’s not just about sex anymore. I’ve got Izzy to think about now. This isn’t a game.”
She sobers up, a little anyway. “I know, but isn’t this what you wanted?” She holds out her hands. “Come to Auntie Bea, baby girl.”
I hand her over and clip my bra back in place. “I don’t know what I want. I want all of us to be safe and for Izzy’s dads not to hate my guts. I’m not sure I dare wish for more than that, or even deserve it.”
“Alessa, you deserve everything. I wish…” She frowns, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say she looked guilty.
“What? Are you still worried about the rent? Don’t worry about it.”
“No, it’s nothing. I just wish our families weren’t so complicated.”
“You can say that again. I guess all considering, Izzy could do worse than having four biker daddies.”
She smiles. “Yeah, and you get four biker Daddies. If you catch my drift.”
“You’re horrible.” But I can’t help but grin.
9
ALESSA
The doorbell rings.
After what happened last time, I prepare myself for just about anything. The last time was pretty overwhelming. I can only handle having my life turned upside down once a week, maybe twice, max.
In a way I'm glad that the cat's out of the bag. It was a heavy secret to keep. Not that yesterday was how I wanted the guys to find out, but at least the weight's off my shoulders. God, I still feel so selfish, but what could I have done differently?
Of course, now I have another secret to worry about. Four over-protective and overzealous bikers who the Family wouldn’t hesitate to eliminate. I’ve been praying to every God there is that Dario never finds out about either them or the baby.
Yeah, life isn't exactly easy.
So I'm sure no one will blame me if I'm just a little anxious about answering this one. I glance over at Izzy, who's on her play mat, waving her arms up at the mobile toys over her head. For once she's giving me a little break. I swing back the peephole cover, remembering what happened last time at the window.
And yet, I'm still surprised.
I open the door. “Bear? Snark?”
Their cuts and tattoos are hidden under hoodies, with the hoods pulled up. And there’s no bikes out front, just a black van I don't recognize. There's no mistaking their size, though, especially Bear, who's built on a scale of his own. His hoodie looks like a sausage skin, it's so tight around his form. Wherever he got it, they obviously didn't have his size. But, they don't look like bikers, I guess. Not that they’ll ever pass for locals, not with their aura of subtle danger.