I nodded slowly, trying to conjure up the right words. Emily and Becca walked past me into the soccer field house but I couldn't look at them. I wished Josh knew me enough to realize that something like this was truly embarrassing for me. I wasn't a public person. I didn't want my entire team knowing the sordid details of our relationship. This was too much, and if anything, it pushed me away even more.
"Josh, you can't do this. We're not together and it's for a very good reason. I freaking swear that I'm not trying to be coy and lead you on. I mean it when I say that we aren't getting back together. You have to leave me alone."
His face fell slightly and his dark brown eyes studied me with curiosity.
"You don't give up on things that matter to you, Kinsley. That's not the way love works," he said, pushing the flowers into my hand and heading toward his car.
I wanted to shout after him, to tell him he didn't know how love worked, that you don’t cheat on someone that you love, but I just pushed through the field house doors and headed to practice.
My worst fear would be realizing that love actually did mean what Josh thought it meant: you could do whatever you wanted to your partner as long as you said you were sorry and looked charming while you said it. Nope. I respected myself too much for that.
I dropped his flowers in the locker room just as I realized that I needed to find Liam. I had no clue if he’d seen Josh’s display, but if the situation were reversed, I would have hated seeing his ex-girlfriend standing there waiting for him. I didn’t want him to misread the situation.
I didn’t get the chance to see him until we lined up outside for drills. I purposely stood on the end so that if he wanted to, he could talk to me. When I smelled his body wash behind me, I sighed. At least he wasn’t so angry that he was going to ignore me.
"Are you okay?" he asked, taking me by surprise.
"I'm fine. I'm sorry that happened," I began just as one of the junior girls inched closer to me. Her innocent action didn’t go unnoticed and I realized I had to guard my speech.
"That was really unprofessional," I said, looking up at him and pleading with him to understand my veiled words. His eyes weren't angry or brooding, instead he was studying me with a wistful smile.
"I'm not afraid of a little competition, Kinsley," he whispered. "I play to win."
A smile spread across my lips, but I did my best to hide it. He moved behind me, heading toward Coach Davis to help her with drills, but his hand skipped along the base of my back as he walked by. The casual touch made goose bumps bloom across my body, and I knew I was making the right decision. Liam could disarm me with a single touch, and I'd never felt that way about either Trey or Josh. I was officially in over my head.
Once I'd showered and changed after practice, I laid back on my bed and checked my phone. There was a text message from Liam that I decided to check first.
Liam: I'll pick you up around 7. Don't eat dinner.
I texted him back right away.
Kinsley: Any hints? What should I wear?
Liam: Pajamas.
I laughed and swapped screens to check the missed call and voicemail I also had waiting for me.
"Hello Kinsley. This is Brian King. We spoke in Coach Davis' office last week about a potential interview opportunity for you. I know this is last minute, but I’ve been called away to Europe and my editor would really like this interview set up before I leave. That puts you in a tight spot, but if there’s any way I could convince you, would you be willing to meet me for the interview after you’re done with practice on Wednesday? I realize this is very late notice, but unfortunately the magazine has left me with very few options. We could meet at a coffee shop in West Hollywood. I’ll be coming from downtown LA. Also, I’ve sent Coach Davis a list of possible interview questions that you can run through with her. Let me know what you think.”
The voicemail cut off and I was left momentarily stunned. I hadn’t thought about Brian’s offer in a few days and now I was suddenly forced to decide one way or the other ASAP. I wasn’t 100% sold on putting my personal life out there for everyone to see, but if I looked over the interview questions and thought they seemed okay, I’d agree to the interview. Brian seemed like a nice person, and I didn’t want him to get in trouble with his editor if I turned down the interview.