As the rest of the week passed, I waited for the inevitable, "this isn't worth it" speech. He would have worded it perfectly, explaining that it wasn't me, it was the situation, but the idea still wore me down. I'd lay in bed at night, exhausted from practice, but I still couldn't fall asleep. I'd wonder what he was thinking, if he was moments away from sending the text that would break my heart.
I was getting ready for bed Friday night when he called.
"Come outside," he said as soon as I picked up.
I peered through my window but didn't see his car.
"I'm around the block so your teammates won't see me," he answered as if clarifying my train of thought.
"Okay, hold on, I'm in my pajamas," I explained, unable to wipe the giant smile off my face.
"You can stay in your pajamas..." he suggested, and I felt a shiver run down my spine.
"Pfft. Yeah, right. I'll be down in a second." I hung up and threw my phone on my bed.
"Becca!" I shouted, knowing she was down the hall watching an episode of Parks and Recreation. She had a love for Amy Poehler that was deeper than most normal human relationships.
A second later, she was standing outside my door. "What is it? Amy and I were bonding."
I gave her a pointed stare. "First. You are not on first name basis with Amy Poehler. She actually doesn't know you exist. Second, help me get ready." I paused and whispered the next part. "Liam is downstairs waiting for me."
"God, that's romantic," she mumbled, stepping into my room with her standard onesie on. This one had penguins and a hood with a penguin beak.
"Have I told you yet how awesome you are today?" I asked, stepping over toward my closet.
"Yeah, whatever. This penguin onesie is going to waste since Penn hasn't bothered to contact me."
"Want me to ask Liam about it?" I offered, throwing my pajamas off and grabbing a purple t-shirt dress that was soft from too many washes. I threw on some brown sandals and pulled a jacket out just in case it got cold in his car.
"Only if you can do it without him thinking I'm desperate. Just a casual mention, okay?" she asked, grabbing my bracelets off my night stand and bringing them to me.
"All right, I promise I'll make it seem casual."
She smiled. "You look like a bazillion dollars, but you didn't even need my help."
"You helped. I feel less nervous now," I promised.
"Don't let him keep you out too late. I want to go to the beach in the morning."
"Deal!" I shouted as I ran down the stairs. "Don't wait up for me though!"
Emily and a few of the sophomore girls were sitting in the living room watching a movie. They paused it as they saw me running down.
"Where are you going?" Emily asked just as five pairs of eyes swooped toward me and waited for an answer. I didn't want to lie to Emily, but I couldn't tell all of them the truth.
"Out with some high school friends that are in town. I'll be back in a bit," I answered without meeting Emily's eye.
The night air was cool, and I reveled in the crisp wind blowing strands of my long hair. It felt intoxicating, like even the weather knew how hard my heart was beating at the knowledge that I was about to be alone with Liam for the first time in five days. I spun around once to ensure that none of the girls were watching me from the windows. When I didn’t see anyone, I picked up the pace and flew down the street before turning the corner.
Liam’s black SUV came into sharp focus beneath a street lamp. His dark silhouette was barely visible inside.
In that moment, I felt truly criminal. I’d just lied to my friend, and now I was sneaking out late at night and checking behind me for witnesses.
I inhaled a shallow breath, pulled the door open, and hopped in quickly.
"This feels wrong. Should it feel wrong?" I asked, tossing my jacket onto the ground and peering over at him.
"No, it's not wrong," he clarified simply in his controlled tone, but he could tell I wanted more. "It only feels wrong because we're having to sneak around. We aren't breaking any laws and it's not like we have spouses that we're lying to."
"I'm lying to my friends, to my teammates," I brought up, wanting to push the subject. It felt good to have it out in the open. I wanted to know how he felt.
"I know. I am, too." Then he hesitated. "But to be honest, I'm not lying to everyone. Penn knows the truth. I mean it was pretty obvious when he saw you leaving my room at the party."
I’d already assumed Penn knew about us. He and Liam were close.