“You have no idea where anything goes, and I don’t want to find something out of place when I try to look for it.” Her tone is gruff, but I’ve gotten used to it, so I simply shake my head.
I don’t point out that the only dishes I tried to wash were a bowl and a fork…two things I definitely know the whereabouts of in the kitchen.
“You still here?” she says a moment later after she dries the offending dishes and puts them away.
“Sorry, I’ll leave you alone.” A part of me wishes she would call me back, but as I leave, I know she won’t. The woman is not big on small talk.
I head to the little room I’ve been turning into a library and stare at the partially full shelves. He’s given me every single book here, paying for it all as if it means nothing. I should feel guilty, right? Not only did he save my life, but he’s also given me safety, comfort, luxury here. I’ve always lived with money, but I never felt like I could request things or spend it. My father barely sprang for new clothes when necessary, and usually only if I ever had to be seen in public where he could be humiliated if I didn’t play the part of the pampered princess. If only the others saw the bruises underneath the cashmere and lace. Then again, knowing more about the society now, maybe not. It seems everyone has a hidden underbelly of malice. It’s just rarely seen unless provoked.
I consider this as I shelve books and neatly line them up with the edges of each dark wood shelf. It’s satisfying to see them all perfectly organized by height and color. And it makes me feel good to have this space for myself.
In some tiny part of my brain, I have to admit that I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. To learn some deep dark secret of Adrian’s past that I’m going to have to pay for. Or worse, for Sal to walk out of that elevator one day and finally end my life.
A knock on the door sends my heart into my throat, and I’m already heading toward it when it’s pushed open. But I should have known it wasn’t Adrian because he doesn’t knock.
Kai is standing in the doorway. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
I narrow my eyes. “Did he send you in here to check on me? Or are you just as bored as I am when he’s not here?”
“Just doing my job. He says to keep you safe, so I keep you safe. Even if it’s protecting you from paper cuts.”
I huff out a laugh and turn back to the shelf, my excitement fizzled. He’ll be home soon, and then I can throw myself at him. It’s not healthy to feel so attached. I know this, yet I don’t want it any other way. Not while Sal is still out there.
“Can I ask you something?” Kai says, still hovering in the doorway.
I thought he’d walk out when I turned away. “Of course, what’s up?”
“Have you thought your relationship out? With Adrian, I mean? You do realize once he deals with Sal that he is going to have to deal with your father as well? It’s the only way he’ll feel his father’s murder is avenged.”
I’d heard my father killed his, but I’d never heard that from him directly. Nor could I deny it was probably true.
The vision of a pool of blood reflecting moonlight hits me. A memory from when I was a little girl. No, my father is no stranger to killing, and he has no qualms about making exceptions for women and children. The only reason I’m still alive was my usefulness as a bargaining chip.
I study him. He gives the impression of being perfectly put together, but the more I get to know him, the more I see the cracks underneath. “Let me ask you something…why do you care? I understand you protect Adrian and his interests, but why does my presence seem to threaten you, or does it threaten him in some way? So you want to protect him?”
He gives absolutely nothing away on his face. Just wears the same ole charming mask he usually does. “You don’t threaten me, Valentina. It’s not you. It’s whatever is happening between you and him. He’s already compromising in places he never would have to keep you safe. He’s pushing himself to his limits, and I can see the effect it’s having on his hard-fought control. And no one likes what happens when he loses control.”
Now I just assume he’s trying to scare me. After everything Adrian has done for me, I don’t think there’s a single thing I wouldn’t do or endure for him. “Are you trying to scare me, Kai? Because I’ve faced scarier situations than a lecture in a library.”