Then I clean myself and settle in the bed. She turns on her side and allows me to spoon my body against hers.
I’m almost asleep, assuming she’d drifted off way before me, when she speaks again. “I think I liked that. I just don’t know why.” Her voice turns dreamy. “I have to tell Rose.”
And it breaks my fucking heart that she sounds both scared and sad at that fact.
9
VALENTINA
If I don’t get out of this bed, I’m going to go insane. When it’s time to eat, Adrian wants to feed me. When it’s time to clean myself, Adrian is there to carry me. When it’s time to see the doctor, Adrian hovers, waiting for the verdict. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the tender care he’s given me so far; it’s just that I’m not used to not doing anything.
I also don’t trust it all. This can’t be the deal we made, him waiting on me hand and foot, and no doubt paying an obscene amount of money to the doctor who visits almost every day. He keeps telling me not to worry about anything, but I worry, and I worry some more about when the other shoe is going to drop, and when the other side of him that everyone is so afraid of will come out. He’s been nothing but kind to me, and that’s the problem. I’ve been trapped my whole life, a lamb in the lion’s den, and I won’t be that girl ever again.
The doctor checks my vitals one more time and then tucks his stethoscope around his neck. He doesn’t speak to me but turns to Adrian with his report. “She’s perfectly fine. Healing well, no infection. She can get out of bed.”
Relief hits me hard, and I immediately want to jerk back the covers and stand on my own two feet.
Adrian glares over the doctor’s shoulder, a look that’s more order than him using actual words. So I stay put. When he speaks, he talks to the doctor. “It’s been two weeks since she woke up. Are you sure it’s safe for her to be up and around?”
There’s no missing the edge in his tone. A sharp bite that makes me sink into the covers. Not that I fear he’ll turn it on me, but again, I’m waiting for things to change around here. For me to turn into some kind of slave for his fetishes. I don’t look at him while I think this because heaven knows I have no clue what a real fetish might be. Foot stuff? I press my knuckles to my mouth so I don’t laugh out loud and interrupt their conversation.
They lower their voices, and Adrian still has that nip to his tone, which the doctor seems oblivious to. Once they finish talking, the doctor leaves the room without a single word to me. I guess I know where I stand on the hierarchy here.
Then I notice he’s looking at me. I gulp and shift my gaze to him as he approaches the bed and slides in beside me. “The doctor says you are well enough to get out of bed.”
“I feel okay if that helps ease your mind. I know you’re worried.”
He raises one dark eyebrow at my assumption, and I stammer out an explanation. “I mean, you seem worried. Not that I don’t appreciate you taking care of me, I just don’t want you to keep worrying.”
His fingers grip my chin and raise my gaze to his in a split second. My mouth goes dry as his eyes lock with mine. “It is my job to worry about you now. It’s your job to trust me to take care of you and keep you safe.”
Safe. It seems like a foreign concept. He’s the only one who has ever made me feel even close to it. His thumb digs into the bottom of my chin, demanding my attention.
I nod once, as much as I can in his hold. “I understand.”
His eyes narrow. “I understand isn’t the same as I believe you. Say it for me. Tell me you believe that I can keep you safe.”
I want to believe it, and if I want to believe something, I’m very good at tricking myself into thinking it’s true. “I know you can keep me safe.”
He’s still gripping my chin a little too tight, and there’s still a hungry glint in his eyes, but he doesn’t make the demand again. “Since the doctor has given you the all clear, then we have business to settle.”
Shit. My heart starts a running leap against my ribs. “Business?”
Is he going to make me strip for him again? For his men? Will he use me like Sal wanted to use me? The image of my hand around him rushes back to me. We’ve done that multiple times now but never more. He never pushes me for anything else. Maybe because he worried I’d get hurt.