He makes an impatient noise, and I glare at the wood again. He can’t see it, but it makes me feel better.
“That’s not the kind of losing you I mean. Between now and when the baby is born, anything could possibly happen. We are at war with the council, you could have complications, or Sal’s family could sweep in to try to take their revenge. Shit could hit the fan in so many ways. He’s not scared of you walking away anymore. He’s terrified of you dying.”
I gasp and blink at the ceiling, my brain rolling over this new fact. Adrian isn’t exactly the kind of man who would admit this kind of fear, especially not to the person tied directly to it.
Damn Kai and his meddling. I shove the covers off, grab some spare sweats out of the dresser, shove into them, and then open the door.
To my satisfaction, he falls backward at my feet in his thirty-thousand-dollar Italian suit. “Fine. You said what you needed to say, so you can leave now. I need to get some breakfast.”
He eases back up to sitting, his knees bent so his elbows rest on top. “I haven’t finished speaking to you yet.”
I cross my arms under my breasts and glare down at him, content he can see this one. “Fine, what else do you need to get off your chest this morning?”
His eyes shift down the hall and then back to my face. Yeah. Tell me again how you came here on your own.
I move to grab the door and slam it on him, but he stops me, his big hand bracing against the wood to hold it open. “Wait. You need to understand something before you go off half-cocked and confront him about any of this.”
I still glare. It’s not like he’s giving me a choice about listening to him right now.
“He loves you.”
My shoulders slump. “You think I don’t know that. Of course, he loves me, or else he wouldn’t be doing this.”
He blinks, surprise chasing across his features. “But…”
“I know he loves me, and I love him too. But loving someone doesn’t mean they don’t hurt you. Hell, I know from experience what a loving hand feels like when it’s wrapped right around your neck,” I grit out between my clenched teeth. “So yes, I know he loves me, and I know he wants to keep our child and me safe, but I’m not willing to sacrifice our relationship for his overabundance of caution.”
This time, Kai lets his hand slide off the door, and I shut it gently, leaving him in the hall alone to consider what I’ve said. If Adrian was listening, then all the better since I won’t have to repeat myself later when our eventual confrontation happens.
Climbing back into bed, I snuggle under the covers. This time, I’m warmer from actually wearing clothes. I sigh and let my eyes drift closed again, fighting the pang of longing to have my husband’s arms wrapped around me. There’s nothing in the world like snuggling up next to him, breathing in the scent at his neck, knowing that he belongs to me and only me.
Some hopeful part of me insists we’ll get back there. That I should give him space and time and let him come to terms with everything on his own.
But there’s another part of me. The one that loitered under my father’s care for far too long. The one that let Rose get slaughtered in my own home. The one that still bears the scars of so-called love.
That part of me knows better. And it knows that I won’t let Adrian smother this growing feeling inside me. A feeling that tells me I’m worth living, and I’m worth fighting for.
51
ADRIAN
I don’t sleep. Instead, I carefully ease away from her and rush to my office. It takes time and waking people up, but I pay them enough to deal with it. In less than three hours, I have what I need and quietly return to the bedside.
She’s still asleep, her curls unbound and riotous across the pillow with one hand cupped under her cheek. I take a moment to stare at her because, damn, she’s so beautiful. She’ll be even more so when her belly swells with our child, and I can feel it growing inside her.
As I consider how her body will change, I dig in the paper bags around my feet softly, keeping my noise to a minimum. As a kid, I perfected the art of being invisible and silent so as not to draw my father’s attention. Those skills serve me well as an adult too.
This time, I don’t monitor how long it takes me to ease every item from each of the bags. It could take years, and I wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t blink, wouldn’t be anywhere else than here at this moment.